Natasha

Natasha

So it begins....
well i wont go through the full story. i'll spare the readers the details lol.
but we have gone through alot diddnt we?

I first talked to you on msn after PMR .we were comparing results and telling each other how much money we received just because of our PMR results.well we met probably in 2004 and i dunno how we ended up going down the same road.lol diddnt even see that coming.....

you were my daughter at one stage and i was your papa.lol looking back at it, i must say that was a smooth tactic you had there tasha.ahha

yes we had some very rough times but it thought us patience and maturity.yes, there were some mistakes along the way but we managed to learn from them.

I would like to take this time to say sorry.sorry for the permanent scars that were made.sorry for putting you through so much.sorry for the actions i did that left you bleeding emotionally. I do not regret knowing you but I regret the things i did.Some decisions that i made were not the best but yet you supported me all the way. I realize now how selfish and self-centered I was and I hope you forgive me for that.If I had in any way been the cause of your deterioration in studies..I am truly sorry.

Thank you for playing a big role in my life.I have learned so much within that 2 years of my life and I hope u did too.Now I am residing in Australia and youre in the US.Time difference only allows me to chat with u at unorthodox hours.

I am really glad that you came to know Christ and I hope He will continue to guide you.I can see that you'll be a really good mother one day.I know everyone says that but its true.haha

I hope one day we can meet again and catch up on life.it will surely be interesting.

Anyway thanks for everything...thanks for your support, thanks for your understanding, thanks for all the letters u made, gifts you bought, thanks for playing a big part of my life, thanks for everything!!.
THANK YOU!

Aiyuen

Aiyuen

well let me introduce you to the one and only twin sister!ahha.
we met in 2003... and we never knew how similar we were until end of last year.
We have the same train of thoughts...same likings....same characteristics....same response to situations.It was getting freaky, so i got to a point where i wanted to find something different between us. So i asked the wisest question.."how many times did you go to the toilet today?" I was almost certain it would be different but guess what...it was the same number of times.lol! freaky!

Im guessing that God put very similar genes into us which explains how we think alike.
tho we may not look the same(tho we both have small eyes)...ahhaha but it has been a great journey going through life together with you.our study achievements are quite similar... our "partners" were similar in so many ways.... and our knowledge on the word of God are pretty much the same.and funnily we both wanna do missions.
ok twin,...i don't know why God made a duplicate of me in a form of a girl...i always thought 1 sean was enough for this world to handle lol.

I thank you for encouraging and helping me when i was down.always including God in the picture whenever i miss it.always reminding me of God whenever i neglected it. you are certainly someone that I enjoy discussing the bible with.really really hope u'll be coming down to Melbourne to further your studies.It was a regret not getting to know u more while i was still in JB .

All the best in the days ahead and may God's outstanding glory continue to shine through your life as a testimony unto others.
seriously..you don't have to change one bit, you're a perfect example for many for just being who you are right now.

Elaine Ang

Elaine Ang

So it begins..my appreciation chain posts that will go on for the next few days and probably months. 1st up is elaine ang..just because u started this thing . well I have known you since 12 years old? but we never did talk much then.I guess we are kinda close now .funny how distance helped us get to know each other .

well what can i say...have never met someone who nudges me so much and even asks other people to call me just to get me online so she can juz bicker about stuff ahahha.If only u were that keen to give me money =p.For a person who constantly compliments herself....i really dont think i need to add anything to give u a confidence boost lol.


well ur blessed with so much...even your birthdate I can hardly forget. 8/8/88 ...ahha

I guess its still a wonder how we have so many friends in common( and in such a unique way too)..lol your primary school friends become my high school friends and my primary school friends become ur highschool friends and yet we both go to different schools throughout our schooling life.

hmmm life can be unfair towards you sometimes but you are stronger than the troubles that come your way.each time you come out of these situations you become stronger and stronger emotionally.You may not want it but God says you need it.He prepares you for a bigger battle in the future.This is your equipping stage.Do not let your circumstance make you lose sight of who God is.Do not in any circumstance resent any anger towards anyone... it will only drain you out.

Well to wrap it up..thanks for..
hmm thanks for being you.
=)

update

hmm update on myself.

physically : not fat, neither slim
mentally : same...
spiritually : doing lots of bible studying lately... some parts are still hard to understand
emotionally : strong, independent,
socially :learning to talk and "handle" a range of different people
Waiting : Steph to come down to aus(feb). to start uni.
Hoping : Aiyuen would come to aus.Nikki to get a job at three.Enough money to pay my uni fees. God to take me higher.
Aiming : best student in radiography.double my pace in Christianity. more independent financially

Frustrations

I was never prejudice...i was never racist....until I started working in a customer service's line.
I was naive...to the real world.I always wondered why some cultures could not get along....and y some cultures can....Being in the real world...dealing with real people teaches me more about life than philosophical interpretations.

this group of people that im talking about would go to any extend to get what they want...always at another person's expense.In extreme cases they are commonly known to go to the extend of killing and murdering just to get what they want.In a more civilized society like Australia, they are worst than the Jewish when it comes to money.I'm saying this based on personal experience. Although i know that not everyone in that race behaves this way...I would still say the majority of them do. The only ones that I would be able to accept are those from that race but are raised up in Australia.at least when they argue...they make more sense..and are more polite in conveying a complain.

what I got myself into this time?well it happens everyday but today was special.I lost my cool.What happened? I upgraded her phone.See, for upgrades we don't give anything to customers...but for her...she ask and ask and ask.....no...she didn't stop there...she continued to ask and ask and ask...so i got fed up..I gave her a free casing and a car charger.After that she wanted a blue tooth hands free in exchange for the car charger.WTH! I said no. then she said that I had used that to trick her into upgrading her phone. She was arguing for 10 mins..raising her voice ..attracting a crowd around me. Imagine..me working alone at the store and having her shouting at me with a crowd around me being entertained...I tried calming her down ...only to find her raising her voice louder. I stared at her face and said..."if u think i tricked you into getting the phone, u over stepped your limit.I'm not happy at the way youre talking to me and I can easily tear the contract u just signed...put the phone back and u can find another shop for a better deal." then she said "is this how you show customer service?"...you know wat..i was fuming at that time...felt like closing the shop and head for home.

I just kept quiet and didnt bother entertaining her ....in the end she took the car charger and left.I was just trying to be nice by giving free stuffs which ended up becoming my fault. It spoilt my entire day.I need a break.

Its only the older generation of this race that i try to stay away from.younger people are more reasonable.sigh.

yesterday was a wierd case....a guy came in and said that he doesnt like his phone and he wants a new one for free.I said u cant do that...u have to pay for it. And that guy said.."how can that be?that doesnt make sense to me.." and that argument went for 10-15 mins. silly, time wasting, unproductive.

i have heaps of similar cases.

you see the thing that bothers me is the way they talk to me.it is as though i am their slave and when i don't do what they say they would raise their voice.

If I was not in my uniform...i'll give them a high five.On their face that is.

From now on....if that group of people appears in the kiosk again, Ill just ignore them. I may not have as many sales but I would certainly be a happy man.

lookin back

Looking back on 2007 I see it all...I realize why individual incidents that did not make sense at that particular point of time had taken place. It seems vague and sometimes meaningless to say everything happens for a purpose unless you actually see the outcome of it. The view at the point of hardship may be shadowed by frustrations and pain but the hindsight view of things puts everything back into perspective.

I went looking at some past posts that i did on this blog and I realized how much I have grown since then.mainly my fluency in English but even the perspective of life that I used to have was shallow in comparison to what it is right now. I certainly do not wish to be satisfied and complacent at where I am.I want to go deeper and deeper so long as my heart would beat.

Year 2007 had been a great test for me.I had to juggle my commitment in church....ministries...studies and also not forgetting the most distracting factor = emotions.I struggled with myself trying to subdue and not give in to my emotions.It was definitely hard and sometimes I thought my effort would be in vain.In the end, I thank God for the challenges I had to go through because I learned a whole lot out of it. The tougher the problem is, the stronger you get.It is true that God's grace is sufficient. I thought I had no more strength left within me to finish the race I started but God was there to see me through.I was about to give up on my studies 2 weeks before the exams.I dont know why.I ran out of fuel..out of will ..out of purose 2 weeks before the exams...but God was there pushing me on.

God has been good.NO...God has been faithfully good. I was stretched to my limit emotionally this year but would never portray the slightest sign of it to anyone else.I was good at putting up fronts and still am.I had a battle this year...a battle within me.It is amazing how much you discover about yourself through these moments....things that we were oblivious of until the test began.I dare say I am a far better man than I was last year without boasting of myself but boasting of the one who was behind the shaping of my character= God.I know I have my weaknesses, and I am working on exterminating it.Tho i know i will always have weaknesses as long as I live here on earth, I know I can subdue it and not be a slave to it. I have my scars that I had no one else to blame but myself.self-inflicted damage. I cannot see how this can be something useful to God at this point of time,but I have faith and that is all i need to believe that God has his plan laid out and may I CHOOSE to walk in it.

The dichotomy of life is that troubles is a subjective to the person's maturity
~Sean~


May 2008 be another platform of foundation
I can do with more platforms as long as it brings me higher
and closer to u

truth

speak the truth.And the truth will set you free.

of course it is better to tell the truth than a lie. but is it better to keep some things quiet than to tell the truth? are some things not meant for others to know?

truth?truth..truth!

why are somethings done "up" there and should not be told to people "down" there?
answer: corruption

With noble intentions....but with sin creeping in through the world.there is no place for God.

it is no longer "GOD used you to do..." but it becomes "god used YOU to do..."

often we slide in "thank God" just to complete a sentence rather than actually meaning it.

oh wells it has been a great experience and certainly played a huge part in my growing stage as a christian.till then

auld lang syne

sillY!

ok so i went down to the beach.freakin left my key in the car...AGAIN! and then had to trouble ben to drive me home to get my spare keys.... got back to the beach...got into my car and headed back home.

on the way i saw a paper sticking out my windscreen...what did i do wrong now?can this day go any worse? i took the paper out...it was a fine! 66 dollars! and i havent even started working! i looked at the reason...it literally said this
"PARKED - NOT FACING DIRECTION OF TRAVEL"

i mean...WTH!!!!! if u park a car...who cares which way is it facing? its a parking lot! its not like no parking at this area....it was a parking lot!!!!! it never said u had to face a certain way...and its not even in the rule book! we did L's and never learned such a silly rule. gosh!!!!

so i got fined last summer for going 82km/h at an 80 km/h zone
and this summer i get this! niceeeeeeeee
2 silly fines..juz that this is half price

how was my day? it was great!

adsfgdfh

wow...i cant believe its only been a week since exams ended.
ive been out out out!!!! sleeping at 3-5am waking up at 8am....4 hours sleep every day...insane!
why am i blogging? juz cuz i decided to take a rest today...relax..chill...get back my lost sleep. and tomorrow ill be flying again.

basically im home juz for my bed...then in the morning im off.results in 3-4 weeks. who cares bout results!! people are more interesting than results ahahah.

actually even on my "rest" day today...im gonna head off to find jobs.hahah so fountain gate it is in 5...4...3...2...1..

cya when i cya

lakjsddhasg;

its holidays!!!! and exam results are in a months time..!!ahhah crazzziiieeeeee
i think i got a bad average of 80% for all subs but hopefully that brings me somewhere.....no clue what study score that will bring me to.

but who cares....worst come to worst ill juz do science...

newaiz its hanging out time..signing off!

free

and so its over.Would i like to do year 12 again? never! never in my life will i do something as crazy as this. i dont like studying.i cant sit still staring at something for 30 minutes.i need to move.im active!

I noe i may have done badly but i dont wish to do it again.no no...never! got pawned by the specialist paper....really bad...ahhah!damn

what im expecting?a miracle.

oh wells. ive never felt so free before.aaah!

Miracles

yesterday was a healing service.Yes there were many miracles that happened.Praise God for that
but what irks me were the peoples attitude in that service.People began to look at the man who laid hands rather than the healer .arrggh i dont know where to start.

I saw this crippled man walked up to the altar.He was prayed for....and left the altar crippled.Then my thoughts began to stimulate.What about all that the preacher said earlier about no such thing as God's timing?the preacher said God would always heal.God would always say yes there and then.As my thoughts were running, i saw the mother of the crippled man telling her family that is was due to this crippled man's lack of faith.I felt disgusted.Disgusted that u would even condemn such a person.Disgusted that those words would even be blurted out.HOw low can anyone else go?
To walk to the altar was a step of faith!

I couldnt take it any more.I walked out of the hall.I began to think about it.It sounded convincing when he said how "it is not God's timing" sounds ridiculous.BUt as i thought about it further, God has his timing.

Ecclesiastes 3

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

It was further emphasized in verse 11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time"

Other verses that support this statement are
Jeremiah 31:31 , Luke 17:22, John 4 :21, JOhn 5:28, etc

NOt taking any credit off the preacher, but there were alot of good points.It was just minor stuff like this that I could not agree upon.

God has his timing for everything.Thats why he created time.Rapture itself is timely.

I dunno.I dont like people being condemn for their lack of faith when it actually is God's timing and God's plan.I have seen crippled people preaching the word and reachinbg to thousands and I believe that was God's plan for them.

Miracles are good, but should not be the foundation of our faith.Foundation of our faith should lie within the creator and perfector of it.Jesus

Honour

I found myself watching this documentary on muhammad ali. I realised how little we as a generation know about what happen 10-20 years ago. The war....the politics... decisions that had changed the world...yet, we know so little of and to some of us...being oblivious to it.

It is an irony that we all want to do something significant to make a difference in this world and yet we dont recognise what had been done in the past.We want something to be done for everyone to see but isnt it more essential for it to be remembered? The world trade center incident sparked a new moment for a revival to occur when millions would suddenly go to church. but what happened after that? We remember the incident but not the moment.the emotions,feeling...andrenalin that was there at that time.

How are we to change the world if the world does not give enough recognition for it?
Remember our past heroes and honour them...
until we learn to do that...then will the future honour us

my quote :

UNTIL WE HONOUR OUR PAST ONLY WILL THE FUTURE HONOUR US

.....

its 11.31 am... im scared.
specialist exam at 3pm.

how has the week been? scary. and for the next 2 weeks...scary..

but i cant wait for the brand new life after next week. then the thought of results a month later darkens the sky again.

ive decided to remain single till 21

You are near

Verse 1 :
----G-------------D
Looking back at things
---C ------------ G
I wish I'd never done
--Em ---- D---- C
I wish I could forget
--G----- D
I try to see
------C-------------- G
How all of these could fit
---Em ---D------- C
I guess I am just blind

Em D C

Chorus :

----------C------- D
When I open my eyes
----G------- Em
I begin to realise
------C---------------- D-------- G
Oh Lord I've been searching for you
--C------------ D
Show me your way
-----G --------------Em
So I'll never walk astray
----C-------- D------ G
I know that you are near


Verse 2 :
--------G-------------- D
When troubles may blind me
------C----------------- G
And problems cloud my sky
---Em-------- D---------- C
I wish you'd know how it feels
-------G---------- D
Whenever I lose hope
------C--------- G
Whenever I feel down
-----Em----- D----------- C
It's you who let me stand again

Em D C -> chorus

Song and lyrics : Sean Sim 2007

Falling

Verse 1 :
B F#
There are times when I'd always regret,
G#m E
There are moments I'd rather forget,
B F#
But beneath all that has happen,
G#m E
I'm still alive and breathing again..

Chorus:
B F#
When I soar above the sky,
G#m
I stretch to reach up high,
E
I'd be falling,
B
more in love with you,

B F#
When im trapped within my fears,
G#
The world would take me down,
E
I'd be falling,
B
more in love with you,

Verse 2:

B F#
I remember the happy moments,
G#m E
remembering the first sensation,
B F#
But most of all I'd always remember,
G#m E
The one who brings me through each day...


Bridge:

Days will come,stars will fade
but you will be my daily bread
time will fly and words go by
but your promises will never die...

lyrics by : Sean Sim
Chords : to be decided soon

silver coins

i had 2 silver coins in my pocket.I stared at the silver coins that laid on top of each other within my palm.I reflected back memories of how i had spent my own money in the past.Some were worth the bargain...some were not.As I looked up, i saw rows and rows of candies.There was one which I had my eyes on.It was a chocolate bar,coated beautifully and was shaped like a bunny.I could afford it.I had enough.I knew if I gave up these coins, I would get that in return.That was definite. BUt i held it back.I dont know why.

Few months passed, And i got back to the candy shop. I began to search for the candy again.I couldnt find it! I began searching more franticly.I asked the shop keeper. He walked down the aisle and took out a wrapping. It was the chocolate bar.I couldnt find it before because it wasnt recognizable.Its different now.Few months ago I thought it looked fine.BUt now it looked different.It diddnt look tasty anymore.Maybe its the new wrapping the company made.

Im glad I kept my silver coins.Its all i have left.I may not know why I held it back but Im thankful for it.

pressure

If u ever see me and I didnt stop to say hi....or maybe I ignored your greet, its not becuz im ignoring you...no...its becuz the pressure of VCE is consuming me... If you think im acting a lil different lately...i hope you understand...If i dun socialize or mix around much..I hope you understand....
If i diddnt give enough attention to anyone in particular...Im sorry.

If you see me online and raging at every minor thing.I hope you understand....Give me time...in one month, when all this is finished, ill be back to my old self...no. Ill be better than who i was.Give me time.Dont get offended by my unconscious ignorance.Dont misunderstand.

Prejudice

The felony of society is not the various physical crimes committed by man but simply the undercurrent assault we tend to shoot unconsciously due to how we have been culturally brought up. Culture is something no one is exempted from.The question is are we here to break another culture in an effort to impose what we think is culturally right?Are we here to impose a so called biblical culture at the expense of introducing Jesus to them?My point is.... sometimes we get too consumed in trying to change another culture and miss the whole point of reaching out. What irks me deeply is the fact that people around the world are not divided by materialism or purpose but simply by our views about others.

Unconsciously we tend to generalize people into groups.Mostly according to their birth place and at times skin colour.The devastating effect has now evolved into a culture itself where we generalise groups of people and derogate a certain level of respect from them.If there is something I cant stand, it would be the prejudices of society.I really dont need to give examples because you would be able to see it happen everyday.Just open your eyes.

Sometimes we criticize another culture of being morally wrong.Sometimes we find ourselves saying "look at THESE people ..the way they behave..".We tend to generalize a whole lot of people.I know for a fact that maybe....just maybe for the sake of argument that the majority behaves this way BUT I believe that not all of them are like that.They are still human beings just brought up differently from us.

Even at church.People backslide because someone had been betrayed/back stabbed or whatever the reason is.. But we fail to see that even if someone else does not behave the way he should, it does not remove your own accountability with God.How silly would it be when you meet God and told him" I did not believe you because of him".Grow up!

I admit that I had a prejudice mindset....unconsciously.... but now I'm developing a hatred for it.I dont believe people's attitudes should be assumed from the race or skin colour that they were born with.I believe in individuality where everyone is unique.

Complexities of life

To freeze a moment in time and to see the gradual process of life,one would only be conclusive that if there was anything certain in life,it is that life is uncertain.To look back at moments where memories could relive the moments, causing the emotions within to stir as if it was happening in the present, I could see moments when I could be so certain of where I am heading and the next moment the insinuation of life engulfs the very confidence I had.

BUt the moments where I would be in doubt is not constituted by one, but many factors in life. But amidst these points of time I found assurance.It is not only at the lowest of highest point in life that you get to experience the reality of God but also at the points of inflection in life.Each time something had cropped up to cloud my mind from distinctive clarity of my purpose, I would only resort to one thing. I have learned that solving issues with human strength would only make things worst ...or at times make things just "ok". Never with our own capabilities are we given the inclination or the capacity to turn our problems into a victory.It is only by GOd , and through God.

When the tides start to rise beyond our control, we feel intimidated and often lose hope. Experience has thought me that the best way....in fact the only way to overcome the impossibilities in life is to surrender.Surrender not to the circumstances but surrender to God.

It was not long ago when I had a "date" with God. I walked across the street to where a playground was.It was dark.as usual. I was often found alone at this hour at this place, each time I realize I could not handle the accumulation of the perplexity of life.Each time i managed to find time with God, I realize that it becomes my point of education by learning something new.My Christian walk is not grown through attendance of services but actually the quiet times I have with God.

This time it was something new.Something worth acquiring. As I lay down on the slide, I looked up into the sky.There were no stars.The clouds had covered them.I knew what God was telling me. The complexities and unaccustomed problems that I go through were similar to the clouds that covered the sky.It limits my perspective of life and focuses my eyes on the problems and not God.But the stars were there. I knew the stars were there but I couldnt see them. Then God spoke to me " Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

It struck me that although I could not see beyond the problems, I had to have faith that behind them.....

There was God.

The challenge

HOw this year went for me....

I looked at her and pondered about it.It took weeks for me to decide.THen i looked at her again.YEs. Ive decided.Its her that I want!

I remember enjoying what she has to offer.she was interesting...and challenging.I like challenges.BUt little did I know how challenging the challenge really was.I worked hard at it, I put all my effort into it.I thought that if I could get her, I would be proud of my achievement, surely I would be regarded highly.BUt it wasnt that easy.After all the hard work and effort put in....I failed on the 1st attempt.

That happened at the beginning of the year.After that failure, I never really put any effort into it.I diddnt know if I should try again.I failed over and over again.I got depressed.I thought I had it in me. I thought I was good enough for her....or so i thought.Is it even worth my effort to try again?She was playing hard to get.

I later learned that many have failed to get her in the past too.

It was only last month I decided that I was not going to concede defeat.The last failure I had showed a glimmer of hope.There was a chance I thought.I could see the door was left slightly ajar and I was ready to charge in.I would take every opportunity.

I began to build up my courage and started putting effort into it once again.

And 1 month later(today).....I have her!

I know by now u will be asking who is this girl.hahaa

And because im in a good mood im going to tell you...

Its...its....Specialist maths!

haha! sorry to mislead u guys

what actually happened?

well ive been failing my specialist maths the whole year which is below 40%
after failing my first test, i actually gave up.
Then i started working at it last month and from 30+ all along....now i had a 70%!
A jump of 40% with 1 month worth of effort...ghaha
hopefully it has the same jump for the end year exams!
the story was actually the same as the above. Just replace the "she/her" with "specialist math" and you'll get the idea.

Take me away

WHat i want to do after VCE? get out.

Away from everything close to me at the moment.

Away from my thoughts.

Away from people I know.

I want to do something different.Something meaningful.

I want to go into jungles, cut bushes, set up tents and preach

I want to bathe in rivers.

Get a diving license.

Make friends with those the world neglects

Make friends with prostitutes,gays, lesbians, criminals, sinners

I dont want to bring them to church but to bring the church to them

I want to be used to raise the dead,heal the sick, cause the lame to walk, blind to see

I dont want an average christian life.GOd forbid it.

I want to be different.unique.

I will get criticized and my motives questioned but I dont care what others think anymore.

oh.Send me away.open doors. Take me away.

Back again

I gripped the steering wheel.Both hands were parallel to each other.Veins could be seen petruding out of my hands.I had my eyes focussed on the road.I could feel my sweat tingling around my eyelids but I remained focus.My left foot was balancing the clutch with my right foot on the accelerator.I was ready.Any time now...3...2...1....GREEN!

i sped off from the traffic light with my accelerator pressed towards the floor...the car was moving at top speed.Then came a T-junction.I didnt know which to choose.I couldnt decide.I stopped.I looked to my left...then to my right...Both seemed right to me but for some reason i went left.Later on down the road i realised that turning right wasnt that good afterall.I dunno why...maybe it was my gutt feeling that told me to turn left and I just went along with it.JOurney down the left road from then on was fun and exciting for the first few moments of driving.I enjoyed the scenery.I even stopped by some places.I spent quite an enormous amount of effort on that road.It was fun.But soon I came to a cross junction.

I could go straight and continue on the same road or i could make a left or a right.I looked to my left.I looked to my right.I looked straight ahead.my gutt feeling wasnt there to help me this time.I got out of my car and stood at the intersection.I waited for quite sometime and still couldnt make up my mind. i shouted to the right.nothing. i shouted ahead.nothing.I shouted to the left.I could hear a faint sound.probably it was my echo.but heck at least its something. I got back into the car and turned left.

It was a short journey.I diddnt noe if i enjoyed it.there was nothing much to see.nothing much to look around.probably that sound i heard was my own echo after all.i thought of making a U-turn.BUt i went on the road in hope that something out of the ordinary would happen.Time passed and nothing ever did.I started thinking to myself.Maybe this is the wrong turn.maybe I am just wasting my petrol but if I turn back, I would be doing double the trip and that would be even worse.I turned on the radio and it was not long before I saw a left turn.

It was a detour! Without having a second thought i took the turn.The road looked familiar. now.wait.I know this road.Wait.Isnt this....no....no...it cant be..then there was the traffic light...again. 3 left turns brings you back to the same place. ANd now here I am at the traffic light.back to where I started.

*if u understand...good on you. dont bother asking me to explain my analogies cuz theres a reason why its told that way =p*

rambles

i am sleepy.....
thnx for the company btw
hmm i feel like ....doing ballroom
actually to be specific...i wanna do waltz....slow and sweet...
nah im not interested in classes...just wanna learn it off someone or probably find a video and try to imitate the routine... but i need a partner...haha

teachers

Have you ever had a dream, and you woke up still thinking about it? It was one of those moments when I could just recall the teachers that God had put into my life to educate me to what I am this very day.In my dream I could remember kindergarten and primary school teacher's names, I could recall their characteristics, Their actions and there is always a moment of them that was captured in the memory bank that you could replay over and over.

I wonder what could I say to them if i met them now?
maybe to my kindergarten teacher it would be..
" You would know me as pas.kelvin's eldest son.I was your student from 1992 to 1994.I remember having different roles in your concert production.One of the most fond memory i had was being a prince and dancing with a princess only to twirl the princess to the ground..ahah i was probably a really bad dancer."

man that just reminded me....her name was Esther i think.and that was the last time i saw her.I dont know if its even possible to find out what she's doing now.It'll be interesting.

aaaah~! i feel the need of catching up with people that I havent met for more than 10 years.

to my primary school teachers i will probably be...
"hey , you might not remember me very well since you might have thought 100 over students but I was one of those student who sought after attention.You only can get attention if you're very smart or if you're a pest.Well I was probably top 10 in school but was never really the best so i resorted to being a pest.=)It was a good thing I diddnt kill anyone at that point of time..ahah."

If i ever go back to malaysia...my mission would be finding my kindergarten and primary school teacher's e-mail.

God bless all the teachers~!

Conference dance

sidenote :
- done at the closing of conference
- almost perfect dance routine
- different ending than the other video
- recomended to watch in preference of the other video
- good sound quality




Side note :
- done on tuesday...beginning of conference
- the sound is very soft...need to turn up the volume
- some hilarious mistakes
- bad sound quality
- slightly different ending

The toy car

I had left my toys behind.Some had been thrown away,some given to others and some couldnt be found.I found myself looking from afar admiring a slick black toy car.It was far beyond my reach.I know I would never have that.Some toys are just out of bounds for me.Even toys have been biasly priced to divide the rich and the poor. I looked up to dad and said "I know it is impossible ,but if there is anything I want that would make me happy, I would only wish for you to give me that toy car". In my mind i knew it was impossible.Dad kept quiet. Few months past, I read up magazines and manuals about the car and I found it to be flawless.It was the perfect deal and it was definitely in demand.Suddenly Dad came to my room...with a box,in there...was the car i had longed for.Something I would have never dreamed of.I took care of it,polished it and did my very best to preserve it.

MOnths past and I found the toy car to be not as perfect as it seemed.I found flaws.Soon the car was worn out and I could not play with it anymore.I sought other options.I went back to the same supermarket and had another look around.There ,2 toy cars caught my eye. I diddnt know which one to pick. both had their own advantages.both were in demand and had only 1 left of each in stock.if i did not make up my mind fast enough, both toy cars would be gone.I couldnt make up my mind, I went back to dad.Dad looked me in the eye and asked what happened to the car he bought a few months ago."it isnt working" i replied.

Dad looked deep into me and said "be patient my son, put your trust in me, I am making a toy car that will be suitable for you.I know your character,Ive seen you grown I know what you like.Some toys may seem perfect to you out there because people advertise it but because I know you by heart, I know what kind of toy cars you like.In time, I will hand it to you.For now, I am still working on it.Be patient."

I looked back with a teary eye and said " I have nothing to play with now....It is hard to wait.....but I trust you"

the narrow road

Full of excitement and joy i entered.Suddenly there was a rush of wind .Everything changed.I saw from the corner of my eye.there it was,sculpted beautifully . it stood in the middle of the room.It reminded me of things that happened,memories i wish were never history.I remember that I could see it coming to end this way.I tried hard to protect it.I warned.I could see every step that was going to take place but I was powerless to stop it.I felt hopeless.

As I pondered longer I began to reconcile memories of people that have gone through the same path, each took a different turn in life but ended at the same dead end.Oh how true it is ," small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." oh how easy it is to step out of the road...how easy it is to make a wrong turn...Jesus said, "Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to.

Oh God, I asked for spiritual eyes and I thank you for granting me what I asked for.BUt oh God seeing these things that happened and things that are about to happen just causes my heart to cry out.I'm powerless to stop it.... my heart aches for them.I could see a sea of faces, each one falling off the narrow road due to circumstanced reasons. God ,my heart aches...There is an emptiness in my heart.....and it is for the lost.

Send someone oh God, if it is your will, send me.
I had a dream about you,but I'm shy

Rejuvenate

HELLO WORLD~!
how was conference? are u kidding? it shouldnt even be a question.
HOW GREAT WAS CONFERENCE~!
i have been to many many many many conferences my entire life....and i dare say this is the best conference ive been too. there may not be a crowd.but it was personal~! and thats wat makes it special....like youth camps...its personal.
This is the 1st time we have 3 foreign speakers and all 3 of them are awesomely awesome.and ive received so much over the past few days.Ive never ever been to a conference which i was able to absorb such an extensive amount.The amount of information,amount of passion..amount of joy, boy....juz love it.
u noe wat, i cant really put to words how i feel right now....haha its just "WOW"....i dunno how to say more than that.....AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH~!

imagine....in 5 mins, im able to get 3 prophecies from 3 different powerful influential speakers...ahhhaha now where can u ever get that....

im not scared of VCE now...=p cuz whatever the result is...GOd will still fulfill his promises somehow.~!

THERE IS MORE TO LIFE~! and you know it!

=p

i should be saddened by my UMAt results... but the funny thing is....I'm NOt~! to be frank.....im actually having a blast~! hahaha....
WOO~! love life...all the ups and downs....and this is probably the 1st time im enjoying the downside of life....what an irony

Looking at hindsight, i realized the one thing i achieved this year and to be proud of...is the ability to celebrate in the worst moments of life.Gone were the days of depression ...ahahha woo~!
KNow what...i may not have been achieving the goals ive set bUt what i did achieve is something more than that...which is the refining of ones character...

I have grown alot this year and i dont plan to stop here.Remember how Paul in the bible tried every way he could think of to spread the gospel? God just put road blocks along the way to make sure he goes the right way.BUt the important thing here is that he tried. and when someone turn him down..he tried somewhere else.

See, God's will in our life is vague at times.So I find myself trying and trying different areas...and hopefully GOd will put road blocks to show me the right way.To direct me to the course that fulfills the big plan? Im not even sure what im gonna do in uni...

BUt....LIfe's awesome~!

Report-Homo-sapien

Report
17/9/07

Introduction:

A research was conducted to investigate the wierd and unpredictable nature of a particular species.One research in particular that caught my attention was this individual organism.Report goes as follows:

Species : HOMO-sapien
Name : Sean
Born : 13 June 1988
Sex : Male not yet
Religion : none
Lifestyle : Christian

Method :
1) several investigations were conducted and characteristics were spied upon
2)information gathered from friends and family
3)interview conducted to make sure of parallel connections to facts.
4) all data were recorded by tape and written down later

Results:

Dota ( online game)
found responding to it very often.
Advantages :He finds joy in making pros look like noobs.
Disadvantages : Time consumption

Sports
Advantages : capable of playing with both hands and feet
Disadvantages : often injuries in joints and at times dislocation of bones

Dance (popping)
Advantages : ability to isolate and control individual muscles in most of the upper body
Disadvantages : makes a retard look good

Chess (board game)
Advantages :-a source of confidence through winning competitions
- gains and expands logical reasoning
Disadvantages : Nerd

Studies
Advantages : Sets high standards
Disadvantages : always found disappointed with results

English
Advantages : relatively good command of english
Disadvantages : Spelling

Adaptability
Advantages :- ability to adapt to any environment
- ability to sleep on any surface (hard or soft)
- ability to eat a large variety of food
-sensitive to situations and customs
Disadvantages :Multiple personalities

Christianity
Advantages : sound knowledge of the bible
Disadvantages :none -*the disadvantages becomes God's advantage

Discussion :

Results are inconclusive and are subject to a certain period of time.Results and response may alter over time. HOMO-sapiens are prone to change in characteristics due to experiences and randomness.Male HOMO-sapiens as studied above are more predictable in comparison to females.As females tend to contain more random responses and are highly unpredictable.Legend has it that females were once predictable but the thought of it will remain a fantasy to many.

Conclusion :

Subject seemed to respond well and results are accurate to date of report.It is however subjected to change over time.Any errors in report should be reported to the comments section at the bottom of this page.

Send me

As I open up my eyes just to realise,
A world neglected and often despised,
I see people running up and down a road,
Not having a slightest clue which way to go,

I see frustration and hopelessness in their eyes,
every now and then a child within them cries,
They cry out for help but to no avail,
Nobody cares about the weak and frail.

There must be someone who can help them,
There must be someone who can free them,
why are people not answering their cries?
Why do others give excuses and lies?

While Some choose to remain in their comfort zone,
And Some choose to cry out to God and moan,
But here I cry out loud for You to use me,
To make a difference here i am, send me.

Amazing

Life is a roller coaster..youve just got to ride it.
give me a sign for me to make the 1st move
Amazing how life goes through ups and downs..
Amazing how we lose hope when we are at the bottom
Amazing how we neglect the people who needs help when we are at the top
Amazing how we would rather not be involve with other people's lives as things might complicate
Amazing how God would die for us and yet we are afraid to die for him
Amazing how God would help the tree grow knowing it would be the cross his Son would be nailed.
Amazing how some would compromise the Word to suit them
Amazing how i could fall in love but afraid to admit it, afraid of rejection
Amazing, amazing..

Thanks

I went to bed last night pondering on my Christian walk.I havent been moving forward lately. all i have done is maintained myself from where i was.I needed to keep on moving and i knew studies had been the main distracting factor.I prayed a prayer "GOd bring me closer". and i slept.

Woke up at 5am..had to be in school for a SAC at 7.30.I was driving in the wee hours of the morning.After exiting the garage, i drove for 1km and all of a sudden the radio was not working.There was no cd or tapes.It was silence.I tried fumbling around with the radio..this is wierd.It never happenned before.The time shown on the radio was fine...it was still on..even the channel showed 101.9.but no sound was coming out.As far as my knowledge of electrical components was concerned...there was no way i could explain this.

Then i thought about it that moment.I smiled."hi God...its been awhile" was my reply.I recognised that instant that God was trying to speak to me.It was great..i poured my hearts out..my concerns...it was refreshing.THe next moment, words just started flowing out of my mouth, before i realised what was happening, i was singing a song...a song ive never heard of.NOw i know what it meant in the bible when it says "out of the innermost belly the mouth speaks".I found myself singing praises...singing new songs....just ...just amazing.

I reached school all refreshed. thats not the end of it.After school, i got into my car..started the engine and the radio was working again.Coincidence? i think not!

P.s
Thank you God.I needed that.

ramble

GOing through 19 years of life, i have learned that the worst relationship to be in is when u run out of words to say.

sometimes feelings are not meant to be told but to be kept because it changes everything..everything...maybe some things just arent meant to be and some should just be kept silent until time kills it permanently... and life moves on.

You cant admit...u cant because everything goes wrong.THings are good where they are...but i want better.When suddenly the Want and the need starts to mariginalise themselves ...u become ignorant of what is not needed.

to cage this feeling is not easy.locks of patience and a cement of self control is needed.help.

Wait

YOu took me as a caterpillar and wrapped me in a cocoon...a place ive been for the past 2 years....and ive learn alot being in here.truely i cant deny that ive gained alot..You have given me such annointing .....is it possible for a man to even contain all these talents,gifts and knowledge?God give me the opportunity to use each one of them only for your glory and nothing else...so that ipeople will focus their eyes on you.Rebuke me God if ever I mention to people more of "I" than "God"...rebuke me if ever i lead people to myself and not you...Discard me from your promises if ever i put your name to shame. but GOd, I am now ready....ready to break out of this cacoon and show forth to the world how much you have mentored me ....NO one...no one has yet to see what YOu can do through this vessel... and as i avail myself....i know the time is soon. im going to break out from this state ive been and spread the wings which ive developed in this cocoon...this place of you and me.Im ready.... but as for your timing...i shall wait and remain silent.

Jigsaw puzzle

Right in front of me...on the top right hand side was a beautiful picture...It was a venetian boat gliding on the water leaving a ripple of soft smooth waves.The sun was orange and it reflected on the water providing a glamorous picture.That instant moment was priceless.how i wish i was in that picture enjoying the luxurious life that place has to offer. before my trail of thoughts went any further, i took up a piece of jigsaw puzzle.It was a blue piece.i looked carefully at my half done puzzle of the picture.this blue piece doesnt seem to fit anywhere.it had an odd shape, one that was not squarish but more of a trapezium shape. there were gaps both top and bottom and little things sticking out on both sides.it looked weird and did not seem to match any part of the picture.
Its been two days now since i have bought this piece of puzzle.It was the glorious picture that caught my eye in the store and i thought y not try it out.

i took the piece of puzzle and stared at it.i thought to myself..can this be a mistake?maybe this one doesnt fit at all in the puzzle.maybe it is a manufacturing problem.hmmm .after and hour or so ...after fixing up 3 quarters of the picture, i found out that the odd looking piece fitted nicely right at the bottom corner of the picture.

You know, sometimes in life, there are moments or situations we go through that we dont understand why it happens.We seem to look at it and ask ourselves how in the world is God going to use that to fit in his plan?You see your situations may have holes in it, flaws, terrible mistakes, sin.....but you know what...without that piece of your life, your life is not complete, your picture is not complete.YOu can throw that piece away, but it leaves a hole in the picture.do u realize that the gaps and the odd shapes of a puzzle piece actually binds the puzzle stronger?
God has a plan for everything and no matter how terrible your past was...It was there to fit into the big picture .....

what a day

Shuffling about my seat..i glanced at the time, 3pm.Wow..ive been here for 5 hours...at the same seat.Well this morning i thought it would be a good idea to get down to the library to do some studying.Why not at home?Because there's too many distractions..i often find myself doing something else..running to the kitchen to grab a bite etc. So i headed down to the library..narre warren library...wasnt facinating...no private study area.i spotted a table near the window.That will do i guess.

Before long..5 hours just flew by with me still in the same seat.Wow.Im a nerd!Then a group of boys walked by...they were talking very loudly..As far as i could make out from their conversation...2 of them were trying to prove to the other two boys why the bible is iilogical..a myth.I couldnt help but to eavesdrop.And boy those two who wanted to prove the bible wrong certainly knew the bible well..They had strong facts and strong questions....it was obvious they had done a thorough research on it.

Their conversation went on.the more i heard it the more i aggrevated i became...they were despising the bible...saying it was juz some magic tricks...its just a myth..why this and why that...then a lady stood up and went to their table...she too couldnt take it and was there to defend her faith.(she was hot). ok continuing.... then i thought everything should be fine...soon..the lady ran out of words...she was caught in the corner....and like all gentlemen do...i stood up.

i walked towards the group and this was how it went

Me : hi, i couldnt help but to listen to your conversation..i really found it interesting with the questions being raised.do you mind if i join in?

Guy 1 : sure....

Me : regarding your earlier question..you asked how is it possible for all animals to gather in noah's ark.and what about dinasaurs?it sounds impossible isnt it?i mean 1st of all its hard enough for a human to even order animals around...ahah

Guy 1: yea that, and also ive seen lions eating deers and all that.how can it be possible for all of them to be in the same boat?

Me : Here's the deal. Do you know that the world used to have only 1 piece of land before it was seperated into different continents over time?By the way that was how people were seperated all over the world.After the flood noahs decendents went around the world...and over time...the land got seperated and thats how you have north and south america...asia..africa, etc

Guy 1: yea..i know that..

Me : I thought so u would.its basic knowledge anyway.So why is it not possible for all the land animals to meet at once place ?Since the land is not seperated, it would be easy for land animals to gather together.And if God is the one who created these animals..don't you think God can instruct the animals to go to noah?

Guy 3 says to guy 1 : you just got owned dude.!

Guy 1 : then how about all the animals in one boat without eating each other ?

Me : HOw do you think animals are kept in the zoos?but animals could be kept in one area.My point is...animals could be kept in cages and im sure Noah would know how to seperate the animals properly.for example carnivorous on the upper deck...etc.

Chick : yea! im sure they have boundries and cages!

Me : Also note that if God can shut the lion's mouth...he can prevent them from eating each other...

Guy 2 : what about dinasaurs.they cant fit in! and all the animals in the world? come on!

Me : Well...Noah diddnt put all the animals in the boat. Only land animals..and do you know that the bigger animals are mostly in the sea?and since it flooded....these marine life could just continue in their habitat....Marine animals are probably 100x bigger than land animals...and thats why Noah diddnt need to keep them on the boat.

chick : yea! like whales!

*she was funny...*

*silence*

Me : ( to break the awkward silence) i also found it facinating how you would say God is not real..because you cant see him.hmmm....Do you see the air particles?

Guy 1 : No..

Me : you cant see them but u can feel the effect of it..the wind..the breathing...YOu see, God may not be seen but u can see the effects of it..the nature...the living organisms..everything around us proves it.

Guy 3 : thats right..

Guy 1 : why then are there poor people in the world if God loves them?

Me : A poor person wouldnt know he is poor unless he compares himself with someone richer..

Guy 3 : wow..true..

* the conversation went for one hour.....covering everything...literally everything...i mean 1 hour....gosh*
*cut the long story short*

GUy 1 : whatever it is i still wont believe this bible...it just doesnt make sense

Me : to be honest...i cant force you to...im not here to force you to believe it.Im here to tell you the reason why i believe in it.You ask me why ...i answer.BUt for you to believe it..God needs to touch you personally.

So what do you know...today was just great...i later found out that chick goes to roman prebytarian somewhere in narre warren.... thats besides the point =p

How do I love the Lord with every part of me for every moment of my life?

How do I love the Lord with every part of me for every moment of my life?
i mean the point is Jesus said if u do not obey me...u dont love me..
and to love God, u must do it with all your heart, soul and mind...

but the reality is do we love God with ALL of our heart?each day, as you live your life and sneeze another day by, do you actually conciously THink,eat,walk 100% of your day focussing on God? is it then impossible to give our ALL to God?doesnt then that makes us sin everyday?

The fact is...its true that we cant!


Romans 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Paul here clearly states how we stand before God.No way there is a possibility that we are able to give our all.BUt just as the way GOd says "be perfect for i am perfect".Jesus here puts it in similar fashion providing us a benchmark towards what we should strive for by saying

"Deuteronomy 6:5
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength."

It is only by God and by him alone do have the ability to repent from our sins.

Psalm 18:32
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.


for awhile i have thought of the bible as being a blank picture with lines drawn to form a picture.And i thought my job was to colour that picture as beautifully as i can not going out of the lines. BUT now i realise that christianity is more than just colouring between the lines.Christianity is more than just obeying laws after laws..Christianity is more than trying to be sinless so you can get to heaven.

We are all created differently and therefore our worship and lifestyle should not be stereotyped by what others think it should be.When Jesus was asked about the laws.Jesus replied the same answer "love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul". It is a matter of where our heart is and how much we prioritize him in our lives. Lifting up hands and closing our eyes during prayers does not make one holy. Christianity is more than just rituals!It is more than just a confession booth.It is where our heart should be.

Yes, we fall short of it every single day.but Paul urges us in phillipians 3:12

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

i hope this has helped...

The cruxifiction

Of medical significance is that Luke mentions Him as having sweat like blood. The medical term for this, "hemohidrosis" or "hematidrosis" has been seen in patients who have experienced, extreme stress or shock to their systems (Edwards). The capillaries around the sweat pores become fragile and leak blood into the sweat. A case history is recorded in which a young girl who had a fear of air raids in WW1 developed the condition after a gas explosion occurred in the house next door (Scott). Another report mentions a nun who, as she was threatened with death by the swords of the enemy soldiers, "was so terrified that she bled from every part of her body and died of hemorrhage in the sight of her assailants." (Grafenberg)

The scourging prior to crucifixion served to weaken the condemned man and, if blood loss was considerable, to produce orthostatie hypotension and even hypovolemie shock.8, 12 When the victim was thrown to the ground on his back, in preparation for transfixion of the hands, his scourging wounds most likely would become torn open again and contaminated with dirt.2, 16 Furthermore, with each respiration, the painful scourging wounds would be scraped against the rough wood of the stipes. 7 As a result, blood loss from the back probably would continue throughout the crucifixion ordeal.



With arms outstretched but not taut, the wrists were nailed to the patibulum.It has been shown that the ligaments and bones of the wrist can support the weight of a body hanging from them, but the palms cannot.Accordingly, the iron spikes probably were driven between the radius and the carpals or between the two rows of carpal bones, either proximal to or through the strong bandlike flexor retinaeulum and the various interearpal ligaments . Although a nail in either location in the wrist might pass between the bony elements and thereby produce no fractures, the likelihood of painful periosteal injury would seem great. Furthermore, the driven nail would crush or sever the rather large sensorimotor median nerve . The stimulated nerve would produce excruciating bolts of fiery pain in both arms.Although the severed median nerve would result in paralysis of a portion of the hand, isehemie eontraetures and impalement of various ligaments by the iron spike might produce a clawlike grasp.

a blatant truth that twists the blade of a pierced heart.with blood clotted in the heart,unable to circulate its usual path,it has caused chemicals to react within its body to form a solution which is poisonous enough to stop one's heart from beating.No, my saviour did not die of pain or suffering, he died of a broken heart....

Psalm 51:17
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Isaiah 65:14
My servants will sing out of the joy of their hearts, but you will cry out from anguish of heart and wail in brokenness of spirit.

And yet all that just for you.Sometimes i wonder if its worth all that just for you.but GOd did it.And yet you say you are too busy for him?and yet u say wait till after i finish studying?and when you work u will say you are too busy.I am not asking you weather you know Jesus died or not.I am asking if you REMEMBER!you still think your pain and hurt is that big of a problem now? after all that CHrist has suffered, after all that he has done...what is it compared to yours?Tell me!HOw important is God to you?

spare the next 10 mins of your 39420000 mins of life(assuming u live till 75)...to watch this.If GOd had gone throgh that much just to save you, the least you can do now is watch this clip....

a journey unseen

life, despicable to its nature, u reach a peak then u slide down a valley only to torment your tired and restless body,pushing yourself again to conquer the next peak,the next hurdle.Hurdles which are not for the faint hearted, hurdles that only some will suceed,others run away. how much more can this body,this mind, this soul endure?If only the peaks were laid with green pastures,with streams of living water,but no, a peak with rocks and caves,darkness rule the night as the mountain overshadows the moon.One can only hope that the next step is safe.

What is it that pushes me on?Do i fabricate another world and live pretending a life confabulating my own mind?Or do i face up the challenges ahead taking it one step at a time?.an obvious decision but leaves many in dilemma,many unwilling do be vulnerable to the truth,many who dispels what they think isnt right for them, filtering one's thoughts with their own motive.It is time now.To rise up and face the challenges of life! though u may fall but because you fall, you could stand again,because you fail thats y u succeed. Success without failure can be fantasized but down right unrealistic.

Because people fail you, thats why u grow stronger.because others hate you, thats why u love others.because life is a journey, thats why you need to put the next leg forward.because you are not alone in this.you are not..

zzz

period of silence between the old testament and the new is 400 years....
im goin thru a period of silence for 2 months now.....so i guess if u compare to that it wont sound that bad..lolz

statement of faith

so vce result is out today.some are happy some are sad...some did good andsome did bad...oh!! it rhymed k k lets try to make a poem for this...

Some are happy some are sad,
some did good and some did bad,
no matter what the results do be glad,
that ur friends still love u and thats that!

lol..k it sounded nice..=)
so anyway yea vce results are out....what can i say...im inspired to study now! hahahah
i will set my aims that i can achieve...reasonable aims .....which is....not to get 99.95 but juz get Dux...ahha
i believe it is possible if i really want it and work for it...hmmm in case some of u dunno wat dux is.,..it means ur the top student in the school....and for my school u probably need 99.95 to get dux i think....but thats not wat i want..i juz want dux...=p okok back to reality...wait..i am in reality....im gonna work hard next yr....not to challenge any other person...but to set a standard

wat i plan to do is to juggle 3 things next year
1)vce
2)church services and meetings
3) ministries

i believe that with obedience and faithfulness to God ...exam results will be better.
there are so many contributing factors to a good exam result...of course hard work is one of them but wat about peace of mind during exam?stress?health?unexpected things can happen anytime and anywhere...i have taken 3 major exams and if it was not God who gave me the results i dunno who did.

when faith is practiced....by spending more time with God, it is not a waste of study time, but instead it works the opposite as it helps ur study time.You realise u have moretime to study when u spend more time with God.

So to those sceptics who think coming to church juz waste study time...im gonna prove u guys wrong.im gonna show why God comes1st in the priority list.

sigh

something inside wanna break free......but its being contained...contained as if it was locked in the cupboard for a long time and now its woken up...banging vigorously on the cupboard door wanting to come out.The only thing thats holding it back is the lock.But i dont have the key.I wish i knew wat the key was.i wish i know what is inside the cupboard.I wish i can cry .....but if only i know why ...if only i know what is inside?what is this in me? why is it being contained?i wanna let it go...but the key is missing...i want to do this but something is holding me back.....what is this?tell me!

it clouds my mind, my very thoughts.....disillusioned by the gust of the wind....deprived from my own actions...is this wat its all about?i thought i knew i thought i had it...i thought i thought i thought! everything is blur now....what lies ahead ,only time can tell..i can never see my steps ahead....i saw a glimpse of the future that God has forme...but im not sure now...im no where near what has been promised.did i hear and see it correctly?or was it juz a spur of a moment to have such a vision displayed before my very eyes?or was it juz a dream?juz another ...another dream?

I am juz someone stuck in a ptch black room.not knowing what is ahead of me.everything around me seems to be void.i cant even see my ownself....but because You oh God are a lamp unto my feet....because of that i can see the next step im taking.I may notknow what lies ahead of me now but im glad u are there to help me see the next step.Where do i go from here? guide me Lord ...guide me ..i pray...

update

lol...i found time to blog..ok an update on myself. im working from 7am to 5pm.the workingplace is like 1.5 hours drive with heavy traffic.I travel thru and fro at peak hours so its like 3 hours drive everyday....but with the money..its all good.hahah so my work finish on the 15th which is this coming friday. but then i got an interview for mcdonalds on the 20th. the thing is i dunno if i wanna work...cuz i might wanna study for next yr.hmmm but then if i get the job i get money... so i guess i'll juz go for the interview....whether i get the job or not..im happy....

ok so if u seldom see me online...heres why i get back home at 6ish and lie on my bed...next thing i know it would be 9 or 10pm so i'll juz take my dinner and wash up cuz i have to wake up at 5.30am for work....so if u do see me online...lucky you...ahahah

ok so somehow i managed to find time to watch "the click" today and its a good movie.i guess adam sandler is juz a good actor.....and the storyline wasnt cliche....so it was good and funny...

other than that planning last minute hang outs are juzfunny how it works out...=) would be hangin out more often....=) till then gotta get rest nw...cyz

there will come a time

there will come a time...there will come a time.
when suddenly he/she does not act or perform to your expectation.when suddenly words being thrown out seem impossible to be taken back.when the war heats up for no appearant reason.Every person has their own phase of life.Everyone changes from time to time.I guess no one is comfortable with changes.Everyone expects everything to be the same yesterday today and till death do us part.But changes happen so frequently....people mature...gain intelligence...sometimes to the point of surpassing your own knowledge and understanding. You realise your time has passed and a new generation is taking over...but howwell do we deal with changes? how hard is it for a mind to be versatile enough to understand the changes that happen around us? Once upon a time people said we could never fly....those were the days when changes seem so impossible...so irralevent. but as generations passed people are beginning to accept changes more and more easily...it takes time..i know...it does...

what is it like to see someone now different than what he/she used to be?will u still accept he/she despite them not being what you think they should be like?despite them not behaving what u want them to behave.or is it more important just to accept them?what is it like to deal with a change?

what is it like for a person to tell his parents its time to leave the house and stay someplace else.What is it like for a child to grow up and get married?what is it like to be secured in your own home where everything is provided and suddenly be out in the world looking after yourself?what is it like to hate and yet love someone at the same time? is it hard to cope up?is it that difficult?i would never know.

somethings are just meant to be.All this will happen one day.there will come a time....there will come a time.....

mumblings

i know i know...its been awhile since i blogged. who knows holidays can be so taxing?lol

So i got this job...which only last for awhile till my task is over...get bout 13 per hour ...i work 8 hours...so u do the maths aite...haha i take up 3 hours of my time each day driving....and yea...

so i am still continuously applying for other jobs.hopefully do a few jobs at once...I wanna do jobs which requires lots of thinking but hey most of them require certs and stuff...hahaha hey u noe wat ...i came across this quote which is interesting...to me at least...haha

Copying one person's ideas is called plagiarism, copying many people's ideas is called research!

Test result

so i did the colesmyers test and guess what...appearently my answers were juz too good for the computer to process it....hahhahahaha im talking about the work safety part...yea thats right i'll quote them

"On this occasion from your response patterns we were unable to ensure the accuracy of your resulting work safety score and its appropriate interpretation. For this reason we are unable to provide you with a valid score for this assessment."

hahah its juz wierd.....if anybody ever encountered this before...do let me know..lol cuz so far noone ever got this! zzzzz

in summary..

1)Cognitive Ability test = 97%
2)Work preference profile =go to the link below and see
3)Work safety = unable to process result.(LOL!)

CLICK HERE FOR FULL REPORT

an influence

What makes a person a person?What is it that defines who we are?is it our actions?what we do? or is it juz who we are?Remember those times when we were lil kids...we use to juz make friends with whoever we know?they dont have status or whatsoever...yet we juz willingly play with them.We made friends with almost every kid we meet....though we may not have been fluent in english....we did enough by juz asking .."can u be my friend?"....and whenever lil kids have a fight...they always end up sayin "i don wanna friend you".....wasnt it just cute during those days of our lives? when no status,no barriers could hold us back from accepting people as just who they are.... just as who they are...

What about now>?why is it that when we get older....we resort into choosing our own friends instead?we devide people up into different groups....the nerds hang out together....the sports guys hang out at one corner and the :cool" ones at another corner...What about those days when there was no seperation between people?what about those days when we could just accept one another as just who they are?When lil kids fight....they fight today and tomorrow they forget and just be friends again.I remember having bloody fights when i was young....yea literally bloody but hey we still be friendsagain the next day and then later fight again...then friends again....haha come to think of it...i reckon its unique...hahah

So where does this all division among people come from? Parents!Adults! yeap....werent they the ones who told u to "choose your friends wisely" "dont mix with the wrong group of people" and the bible too.,..when it says in proverbs "he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" So why are parents so concern about our friends? it is because they have seen over the years how mixing with the wrong group juz destroys every potential in you.and its true.someone once said "show me your friends, and i can tell you your future"..a very true statement to the core if u think about it.most of us are who we are today because of the friends around us. you see an emo...and u know what friends he has been hanging out with....u see a gangster and u know the friends he hanged out with....anything or everything u see is dependable or consequential of our actions.

So where am i getting at?The simple reason why friends either destroy or build u up simply depend on your level of influence.if u join a group and see how different u have become compared to before u join...then u would know if they had build u up or tear u down...but if u were to take another step further ....instead of bein influenced by them....and be a stronger influence...then that is what i call a breaktrough. david wilkison went to the gangsters to reach out to them...he had a greater influence..far beyond the gangsters influence....

what happens if you put salt into an orange juice?the orange juice becomes salty.so now..think about it....why did the orange juice become salty? WHy diddnt the sweetness of the orange overcome the saltiness?even though there was a lesser amount of salt...the juice still became salty.A simple conclusion would be that the salt is more influential that the sweetness in the orange juice. So no matter how big your group of friends is....build your way up to become the influence itself!

just an interesting note: look at your own group of friends and see if u can find the one who has been the greatest influence all this while.tips can be :
1) when he/she makes a decision the majority agrees
2) he/she would stand up for u guys if there was any problem

Resume writing

Its been a cold cold day.....to think that some parts of melbourne were 0 celcius just made me thank GOd that my place was only 8celcius...hmmm winter started early and now its ending late too.....man.... good think my blanket is duck feathers....its the warmest thing there is i think...hahah

haha i found myself looking at a dull 2 month holiday coming up.I decided to look for a job...ended up having to do my resume.I find resume writting very interesting.Here you are promoting yourself as if you are an item on display.You are now to tell the people why you are better than the rest of the applicants.So in a way, you need a big ego and be confident of yourself.hahah I thought about it so i decided to write down all my awards and certificates down.You know what i ended up doing? filling up 2 pages...hahaha so i decided to cut down my awards and certificates to half of what i have choosing significant ones... and here is what i laid down..

Awards and certificates

Academic
• Distinction in Australian Mathematics Competition 2006
• Distinction in International Competitions for schools(Mathematics) 2004
• Credit in International Competitions for schools(English) 2004
• Credit in International Competitions for schools(Science) 2004
• Represented school in Mathematics and Science 2005
• Certificate of Excellent Result in English 2005
• Certificate of Excellent Result in Lower Secondary Examination 2003



Sports
• 1st in street soccer competition 2004 (intraschool)
• 1st in street soccer competition 2005 (intraschool)
• 1st in soccer competition 2004 (intraschool)
• 3rd in soccer competition 2000 (intraschool)
• Participated in soccer tournament 2006
• Represented school in Basketball 2005
• 9th in zonal competition for chess 2000
• 10th in district competition for chess 2004
• 7th in district competition for chess 2005
• Best player in Convent Chess tournament 2003
• Best player in Johor Chess festival 2005
• 3rd in Sultan Ibrahim chess open (team event)
• 4th in Johor Chess Festival ( team event)
• Participated in the EC run (6 km) 2002 ,2003, 2004 ,2005

Others
• Head of organizing committee 2002 (prefect board)
• President of chess club 2005
• Lance Corporal in Saint John Ambulance Malaysia
• First Aid Certificate

haha so i was just contented with this half and i thought to myself that this should be enough to impress employers.NOw i just got to find me some refrees.....hmm who wants to be my referee?haha im guessing that the people reading this blog are in no position to be a referee....lol....

hmm so are we defined by who we are or are we defined by what we do? I'll leave it to you to think about it.If you have any interesting comments on this statement..do let me know via e-mail or msn or the tag box on the bottom right hand corner of this blog. Thank you!

ramblings

Suddenly an outburst of people reading or rather visiting this blog...hmmm
its has been a great week and hey tomorrow is my last day of exams...and i wonder what i will do after that...hmm anybody wanna hang out? call me...lol! i can drive..woot.... hahah so hey if ur wondering how was exam? its only yr 11 exams so the results don matter much.... i guess that says how my exam was....hahahha

ok enuf about exams.... my week in general was good. aileen and niki were somehow inspired by some supernatural force to take up guitaring.... and to top that up aileen cut only 3 of her nails...leaving the pinky and the thumb with long sticking nails....for some reason.....hmmm self defence?haha

but yea...so this holidays...with the time i have....i'll try to turn pro with my guitar...tho i forgot a whole lot of it...cant read notes now...grrr...only can read chords and other way of noting the fingerings,....hmmmm so i have a mission but yea dont noe if i will keep up with it...ahhahah

still i cant stay home playin guitar 24/7 ...hmmm ...still need to go out...la di da di da....
anyway here is the quote of the day....and something u can spend the next 60 seconds pondering about it..

SMILE!! AND THE WORLD WILL SMILE BACK AT YOU!!!

Dance

Dance has been taking this world by storm....its no surprise considering how useful dance is in many areas of life.Some say it is a way of life...well i agree to a certain extend...
I just finished watching another ballroom movie..it was on foxtell and i had yea..nothing better to do..haha i found a few quotes from the movie quite interesting
"dance is like a drug...."
" dance is used to summon demons...to entertain and to some it paints the colours in their lives that they never knew existed"

come to think of it....dance can be expressed in all sorts of ways...it can intimidate people...builds up ones confidence....have a clear mind....lots of stuff...I know some dances u perform..you will just get lost in it for hours...and some u juz dance to forget all the hurts around you.....in some dances like break dancing..it builds up confidence of ur ownself....

olden days dance was more like a ritual done for spiritual tribal people...now it becomes more of an entertainment....Dance is also capable of motivating as much as a song does.....To find such a unique expression of life so usefull in life ...its never surprising to see how dance is spreading world wide now... Simple as the word can be...its nature itself is complicated to its core.Now juz dance like uve never dance and move like uve never move......

Inconsistent language

English...a language so inconsistent and yet used on a worldwide scale.If you were wondering what was the fuss about "ghoti" and "fish" ...well today is your day ...to become less dense in just 5 minutes..haha ok 1st of all "ghoti" is pronounced as "fish".This is away of proving the inconsistency of the english language.let me explain how this works ..
"enough" - notice how "gh " in this word is pronounced with an "f" sound..
"women" - now the"o" in the word is pronounced as "ee"
"nation" - now the "ti" in this word is pronounced as "sh"
so now you get the hang of it? u combine all of it and u get "feesh" which is also "fish" and not forgetting "ghoti"! ahahah

There are seemingly endless debates over which is the longest word in English, demonstrating that the idea of what constitutes a word is not as straightforward as it seems. English allows new words to be formed by construction; long words are frequently coined; place names may be considered words; technical terms may be very long. It is difficult to know where to draw the line.

The longest word in any major English language dictionary is pneumo­noultra­microscopic­silico­volcano­coniosis, a 45-letter word supposed to refer to a lung disease, but research has discovered that this word was originally intended as a hoax. It has since been used in a close approximation of its originally intended context, lending at least some degree of validity to its claim.

I heard on a radio programme once about someone asking anyone to just write in morewords to be added into the dictionary.This is because there are still some expressions or situations that english itself is unable to describe fully.So with new words being added so often,who knows what new words there are each day?Simply make one word up and send to websters haha im sure malaysians have many of their own words made up with very interesting meanings. hahah

Time machine

So by now most of you who know me well enough would know that i have an extraordinary piece of memory.A brain capable of remembering events long time ago in detail.Such has been much of a help in recollecting and reliving memories through pieces of writings.given time, i can tell you in detail how the 1st timei met u was like.hmmm .... because of such abililities i could remember stuffs that would pull me thru my hardest struggles and also stuff that could bring me down to an endless pit. Yes, life has its ups and downs....and allof it i have in mind a precise timeline of the events...
FOrgive and forget was never my motto...nor could i even carry it out....yes,...i can forgive...but to forget....its impossible....it is as if u r asking a bird not to fly when it was meant to right from birth.... it has its pros and cons....on one hand you learn from the lessons of life....not during those moments but instead in hindsight of it, u learn even more.....18 and a half years has been a short period of time but if you could relive each event and learn different lessons from it ....its worth a thousand years of experience.....On the other hand....what good does it do to remember my darkest part of my past, the part i could not seperate even if i wanted to.
Ever pondered what you would do if you had a time machine?To be honest i have, and i bet many of you did too.I could do so many things with a time machine.....rewind back time and i can undo the mistakes i did, eliminate the humiliation ...and live a perfect life....even einstein, a great scientist was looking into the possibility of it....making time relative to actions.....stephen hawkins is no different.But what is it that we can do in the past to make things better?Nothing. WE are who we are today because of what happened in the past. Maturing far beyond a simple 18 year old, i see life from a different angle.An angle only few have seen...Nothing i can do to change the past...and even if there was such a process of entering the past, i will not alter one bit of it.Because i know that God brings out the good out of evil....He brings joy out of sadness....He brings peace out of chaos.Everything that happened was to make me who i am today.
Easy to say but sometimes we hope for the impossible,believing the unrealistic just in order to fulfill our own selfish desires...Everyone wants to do everything right...but we forget that we cant. We all want to be recognised by people......but you will reach a point when u want less publicity and more time for yourself.It just goes round in a circle...Nothing seems to end...but let it start today, remove the scales of depression from your eyes....because
THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE
AND I WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!
REJOICE IN THE LORD!

Statistics

AS we are nearing the 1000th mark of people visiting this blog....(stats excluding my own visitation)
I would juz like to share a few statistics...

This blog is
1)viewed by people from
-Malaysia
-Australia
-Singapore
-United Kingdom
-Italy
-Sweden
-India
-Portugal
-Canada
-Chile
-Spain
-France

2)Most popular archive = july 2006
MOst popular post = mr.bean & swearing (both with the same number of hits)
Top referer = bryanz26.blogspot.com

3)Browsers
Internet explorer = 52.3%
Mozilla Firefox = 47.1 %
Netscape = 0.3%
Opera = 0.1%

4)Operating system
windows xp = 97.3%
windows 2000 = 2.1%

5) How people found this site
-recommendation
-referrers
- google search engine
-yahoo search engine

6)Average visitors perday
August = 12
September = 8
October = 8
November =10

So 1000 visitors in 3month plus......thank u all for your support... =)

for such a time as this

Have u ever wanted a perfect world?a world where we could live in peace and harmony?when kids can be trusted to play freely in parks without supervision....where people will be understanding..helpful.....a world where everything is seemingly perfect...?

Do you not know that we possess such power in us ...a power enough to liberate this world from its pains. do you not know how much energy each of us have?can u imagine if we could harness this energy together....what impact it could have?all it takes is unity and oneness.....look in few years time...there will be no more poverty all because one man went all out to fullfill that mission....
if that is what one man can do....than what more if all of us unite?The only reason why we can never achieve something great is because of distractions.....what are the distractions?u tell me....

Its a wonder how distractions can seem so big at that point of time and seem so pointless the next moment.the earlier u start to identify the distractions...the wiser you are...have u ever wondered why u should be born in the first place?why not just be nothing....never existing?why should u ever exist?isnt it juz a waste of time to live and then just die one day?well the truth is...there was a devine purpose for your birth..your growth....the way you were brought up....for SUCH A TIME AS THIS! THIS IS YOUR TIME TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! the earth is calling out in its pains......Accomplish what you were created for!

CHildhood cartoons

ok..let me take you for a walk down memory lane.We see a small lil kiddo sitting infront of a television.Television with antennas sticking out of it.The channels were on the television set so each time you want to change a channel...you gotta run up to the tv set and press the button!hehe no such thing as a remote control.so there i was riding in the house on my red tricycle...zooming here and there...wearing my sunglasses and I also had ribbons coming out of the tricycle handles.There was a basket behind the tricycle which i put my favourite toys in it.=) Then came my favourite programme...i would zoom in my lil red tricycle all the way to the television set..."Sean dont seat too near to the television set.." came a voice from the kitchen... "yes mummy....." i replied. "turn the volume down..your baby brother is sleeping....(in his cradle)." she said again....."yes mummy.." was my reply...
The excitement of being able to watch my favourite cartoons just took my mind off everything.All i cared now was my cartoons.....I would bring my toys and play it in front of the tv....play it during the commercials....


With youtube being so efficient...i manage to find my long lost cartoons....

1st of all....transformers!!!




2ndly captain planet!!!!

love the theme song.....could see me as a lil kid singing...."captain planet...he's the hero......"




although cartoons were not that well drawn and done up as today.....no 3d and all.....but still i reckon they were still the best cartoons.....i can name a whole lot more...sesame street..gummy bears....chip&dales..darkwing duck...hahah i can see some of you nodding your heads...yeap! the list goes on and on....