Monday, July 31, 2006

Letting Go

There i was grasping the edge of the cliff with every strength that was left in my hand.I know i could not hold on any longer but i keep telling myself...just 1 more minute..just one more minute.....the next minute ticks by and i tell myself the same thing.Strength was seeping out of my body.sweat was dripping down my forehead and burning my eyes.with only one hand, i struggled to hang on to the cliff for dear life.I wish i could shout for help but i was concentrating too much on my hand....i was scared if it would cramp any time from now.the shirt on me wasnt helping at absorbed all the sweat and now it was concentrated enough to burn my skin was from the friction when i slipped from the cliff, red from the sweat, red from the heat of the sun.I realised and i asked, what is the meaning of life if we all were to die one day.

I could flash my memory back.all 18 years of my life was reflected in just one second.What does it mean to live? Is it just to get a secure job?to have a family happy ever after?Happily ever after seemed more of a fantasy than a reality,a state of mind disiilusion by the reality that is going on around.Is it just to be wealthy and rich?is it to be powerfull? what if i did succeed in becoming all of these? or is it even an irony to call it a success to achieve this?what determines success?what is satisfying? even the wealthiest people arent satisfied with what they have. are we ever meant to feel satisfoctory?

so what if i studied hard and get a good job one day?so what if i had a good family? so what if i was powerfull and rich? at the cliff, hanging on to dear life...what does all of this matter anymore?is this just a course of life? a cycle like every other species goes through? the cycle of being born,being succesfull,marry, have kids and make sure there is enough money to pass on the next generation...then die.then the next generation will follow the same cycle.What does it take to break the monotonous way of life?Are we not behaving like animals?are we not going through the cycle like any other species?

if there was a meaning of life,what would it be?God?but....where is he now when i need him?why cant he be as real to me now as he is in the past?isnt he the same yesterday today and forever?

then God said, "let go!" WHAT? did i hear u wrongly God? now you show urself and u tell me to let go of this cliff?this thing that has been sustaining my life all these while?i was waiting for u to save me and now u want me dead?

then God said again "Let Go!"....i sobbed...God..why....why i not the person u promise so many things.These promises has yet to come through...are u not a God who keeps ur promises?God...why.....

i realise hating God was no was all up to him...i couldnt do anything..i couldnt help myself.This was the weakness i would never admit. Degrees or awards i achieved seemed nothing but dust in the air now.It was time when life would end...all that "succeeded" now seemed nothing but dirt or a history, a memory to some which would soon fade in the generations to come.everything is meaningless.

my hand could not hold on any by finger began to open...and poof! i hit the ground....i got up in bewilderment.God? i looked up...there it was the cliff 3 metres high...

many of you can relate to this story that i should have guessed i was never at the least not physically.but spritually i definately was. For u ...God might have told u to let go of something and yet u hold on to it because u cant live without it,u might end up in depression if u lose it,but God says "let go...let go" it is only when u are less dependent on earthly things, then are u more dependant on God.It is through our weakness,He is our strength....
we will not realise how silly we are holding onto that particular thing untill u actually let go of it.the "thing" may vary from relationships to studies...or jobs. when God says let go....know that God knows best.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

I'm Ready (Poem)

O God O father in heaven,
Here i hold the life u given,
Humbly i come humbly i serve,
anything for unconditional love,

hear the constant beats of my heart,
all this while its pounding so hard,
i want to do so much more,
i want more and more and more.

the feeling i have no one comprehends,
for i want to be used as your devine hand,
i want to do the things u tell me to,
i want instructions not just one or two.

God God hear me O father,
i love u like no other,
grant me the gifts of the holy spirit,
please...i need it lord.. i need it,

equip me and teach me lord,
let my thoughts be your thoughts,
let my ways be your ways,
and my actions on whatever u say,

This agony this pain this thorn,
i had it since the day i was born,
it was the urge of loving you,
the hope and faith i found so true.

God will u not answer me?
I need you to equip me,
not by my strength but my weakness,
then only will i experience thy tenderness,

no longer am i the same but instead a new creation,
and within me is a blazing funance which is ready to burn,
im prepared to sacrifice for any pain,
for to live is christ and to die is gain.


Friday, July 28, 2006


I was bored.Nothing happened and then suddenly.......nothing happen. was an ordinary day in school.Sometimes u do wish everyday would be extra ordinary...but then u realise if that happens everyday,it wont be extra ordinary sooner or later.

It was funny yesterday tho when we were eating dinner and jacklyn came and talk to me about taking roaccutane to solve pimple problems. Being a science student, i went back home and did a research on that pill. I found that there were side effects such as vision and hearing problems, depression, some reported contemplating suicides. hahah so no way am i taking that.haha

Pimples pimples did it all started? it was in december 2003 after my PMR ...15 yrs old at that time. I had this massive break out...unlike some lucky people who gets it one at a time, i got it all at once! wasnt funny at that time was 15 yrs old for goodness sake.cmon i was nearly at the peak of my popularity! ok so it was depressing at that time. then it started getting lesser at the beginning of the year......and in mid 2004 i got the out break again. I remember people giving me a truck load of advices.they told me what to do when i wake up, what time to sleep, what to eat, how to clean myself, what to bring along when i go out, ..THEY WERE TELLIN ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE!

i basically went to the doctor and he gave me stuffs that helped me,so it got better by the end of the year.but then i stopped taking what the doc has given me by early 2005...and guess came back in the mid year again! this time i ran back to the doctor, got what i needed and it halped me this time i really got fed up with all this pimple thing. I started praying for it!hahaha someone once said u cant be good in everything. so i thought for a moment...yea true...i succeeded in everything that i did, be it sports or studies or anything at all...maybe this was a humbling process i had to go thru.

so then came 2006 when i got to Australia..the medicine i got from the doc ran out by january. and by mid year...out break came again. i dunno if its every mid year kinda thing or by this time, i would say pimples has already been apart of me. and i can assure u that it will go off in like 2 months time as it always has been for the past few years. Its just that period of your life. Ive learned to move on and not put too much effort into physical beauty but rather exercise the inner beauty. Looks only have a certain season.u will only look good at say 13-26 years old? its only 13 years out of say average of 80 years of your life. but inner beauty not only last a life time here on earth, but also in eternity.

To me it may be pimples but to some its rejection from friends or maybe depression, or drying out spiritually. Well it sort of happens so frequently that u thought it is part of sort of lost hope but hey, don worry about the stuffs that happen to u, don worry about what people think of u, what can worry do for u?it just eats u cannot change anything at all. realise that and straightened ur focus back on the finish line.don need to be distracted with the minor stuffs...

anyway the only photo i could get without pimples was my 12 year old picture...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


There are moments in life when u wonder why am i going through this and why am i going through that.I started to think...maybe i wasnt looking at the big picture....all the while i was thinking about how this and that would benefit me.BUt i din realise how this will benefit God.
Then i started looking through my baby pictures...looking at the big picture this all my sufferings had brought me this far....this stage of life....cant help but to smile....

i never knew i looked so cute.....hahah with flabby arms and all....i look like a typical baby....and my eyes are big! hahah looked like those dolls u get from the shop that goes "ma ma" each time u press its
i dunno about u . but al most everyone i met had a baby picture with a telephone.most of the time it is a toy phone but look at holding a real phone.hahah it reminds me of how at that time i would observe my parents talk on the phone and wonder what is that thing all about.then i would pick up the phone and talk to it as though someone is on the other side of the line.hahaha
this one was taken when i sat on someone elses bike. we never had a bike . Its amazing how happy u are when ur a kid...careless about life. nothing the world does seem to bother u.nothing to worry about.....u can talk behind my back at this age and i wouldnt know a thing u said.hahahah isnt it great to have such a care free life.Growin older just means more responsibility. I wonder why people celebrate birthdays.I wish i could be a kid again. just loving everything around me as it is.Never forgetting my parents who brought me up to who i am today. my dad when he still had hair...hahha my mom who still looks the same untill now. everyone thinks she is my sister..hahaha its amazing how she still looks young.on the table beside my 3 cakes were my favourite toys, Garfield,H-toy, that mcdonald dude which looks like zorro and a random toy holding a carrot. I remember tryin to bite the carrot off it.hahah all in the picture was almost all the furniture we had in the living hall. I wasnt born in a grand family. but i was born in a family of love which is priceless...... even furnitures we couldn afford,but because God uses people to bless us,we could survive.....i had to wear 2nd hand clothes till secondary school. MOney was precious but never in priority. The little that we had, we blessed others.And because we were faithfull in the small things, God gave us more. And still we use it to bless others.

I realise buying a meal for someone over here is so rare.Im not used to it and i wont be accustomed to it.Freely i receive the money, freely i give.Anyone who wants a meal, juz let me know...hahah.Sometimes looking back at the pictures brings me back memories of who i was.... Memories are there for a reason.Looking back, i really thank God for placing me in this family where God knows i could fit and grow most spiritually in the years to come.Sometimes i wonder how did this cute little kid turn to an ugly guy now.ahhahhaha.......

Monday, July 24, 2006

prayer for others

ok this is a random picture i took at dendenong mountains with my phone.some say it looks like an album cover.but i think its a dodgey picture.....where did my eyes go?lol! the sky was great tho....somehow it fits...somehow...

so anyway im juz here to take back what i said earlier alrite...since i said suz was different and i got shoes and tomatoes thrown at me.i will juz say she was hot that day.....see! i said it! or spitted it out in niki's words.hahaha ballroom is me....hahah i even found myself dancin with a pillar at carribean gardens...ahahah! u wont be interested untill u start....and when u start.,,,u juz cant stop....its a drug! now me and suz goin thru withdrawal....hahah im makin myself sound like an addict!

k k so today was another ordinary day, preparing for an extraordinary day....u would understand if u were there yesterday when joseph swan wasnt a story this time but boy was it a good message! i believe there is a fan club of his in our church nw.i liked it when he said if u feel that ur time is up and its time for the younger ones to take over,then y not ask God to take u to heaven since there is nothing else for u to do here on earth.....hahaha but im so glad that the people in our church especially the older generation are setting good examples in being active in church and all...really respect that.

as for the youth,i feel there is potential but its still being groomed....the fire comes and the hide it under the bowl...and due to lack of time, it just dies out......slowly as time goes by, the lid will be taken off to a point where it shines for others to see.

self reflection.sometimes i wonder why i do the things i do.why do i lift my hands up to worship?is it becuz i was taught to do so since young?is it becuz others were doin it and i din wanna feel left out?is it becuz of recognition?or maybe lifting up hands shows how holy u are?or is it becuz i juz wanna surrender all..without any other extra motives?

do i put prayer meeting first or do i put studies first?what if i have homework that needs to be handed in the next day?how much do i trust God?do i trust him with my studies?God, i realise now that whenever i put u 1st before my studies,before my appointments, i realise that wierd things happen.Teachers would suddenly go on leave,or post-pone the date of the homework or SAC.God, i wonder if my friends ever experience what i experienced.I wonder if they trust u as much as i do.God it was at those moments when i decided i had to put studies in replacement of my time with u that i realise i did a whole lot worst.I realise now that it wasnt me all this while who had achieved the good grades and results.It was my dependency on you.God, u have answered most of my prayers and i wonder if u have done it for my friends.God, i pray that u will be so real to the people around me as u have been to me.No more will they FEEL what u have to say but that they will now KNOW what u said.God i pray this day not for u to bless me, but for You to bless those who needs it.Lord its time for me to bless you back with what i got.equip me i pray.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Discovery concert!

so this is the 2nd day and i had to wake up at 8am on a saturday! poor me i we brought jacklyn and juwita to the dendenong mountains...supposed to feed birds (at least i thought so) but end up sight seeing and eating.from left : juwita,my sis,my bro, me, jacklyn.
we took a pic at the wiching tree....and if ur wondering y im such in a wierd position its becuz im sitting down in between the 2 big thick as a trunk i would say.hahah
from top left: my bro, me
from bottom left : my mom,juwita, jack's mom,my sis juwita's mom, chris, uncle doug
bottom: jacklyn

i dunno y my mom took only these pics at the pie in the sky restaurant. Look at my dish! its a floating pie! haha and it was goood!!! i was having my spider coke drink...and later ended up drinking jacklyn's hot choc cuz she wasnt feelin well....
so after the dendenong mountains i headed straight to church for practice....and stayed back untill the night concert! and only got home at 11pm.....

alot of people were askin y we din do the ballroom dance again...ahha hope we can perform it again since we both enjoyed it...but in the mean time im gonna have another dance tomorrow!hip hop this time and im practicing it 12am! lol!tomorrow will be another fantastic day at the carribean gardens with jacklyn and juwita singing again.... thats all for now...gotta continue practicing........

Friday, July 21, 2006


Today was so so good.i went to church right after school to practice ballroom dancin with suz. we practiced for bout 2 actual actual practice...hahah last minute stuff thanks to aileen who got sick...but hey all work out to be good!haah or at least we had fun on stage...hahahah
=))).....suz looked different more specky and nerdy with a tied up hair....not that tied up hair was bad but it was juz different today.hahah

and the malaysian idol, jacklyn victor was funny and cute! im sure everyone there would agree with how she entertained the crowd...hahahah she did her winning song for msian idol which was "gemilang" and it was as good as it has always been!boy was the night awesome.....u noe something about juz somehow relates to everyone. We know everybody has different interest and are made differently,....but the special thing is when it comes to singing and music.....everyone can identify themselves with it....isnt it amazing....

Everything happens for the glory of God...who are we to complain?juz love tonight and will hope for a better one tomorrow!hahah everyday is always better than the previous!Glory to the one who lives forever and ever!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Forgiveness of sin

Everyone sins.We are all born sinners.But God forgives.And we go to heaven.

IS that all we learn in church?is it just to comfort ourselves?If this is the case...i might as well sin my whole life and before i die,i would juz ask for forgiveness.....then i gain the best of two worlds wont I?Its still logical isnt it?considering thats what we are taught.You see i have been asking God about this all my life?cuz i simply dont see any logic in this theory.If i were to sin,i juz ask God for forgiveness and hey,what do u know,im on my way to heaven again.....or am i?

Lets see what the bible has to say.NO more of what this or that person has told me,but lets see what the bible has to say.In Matthew 25: 34-46, it goes like this,

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

THis goes to show that when we meet up with God, God wont ask what u did not do on earth,u may say i diddnt smoke,i diddnt murder....but GOd is not interested in that....God is interested on what you did! Realise this,what you do on earth is more important that what you diddnt do!But also realise that if you murder or steal, that is also something u did!

WHy then should we waste our time concentrating on sinning and asking for forgiveness later?
Instead we should be spending our time helping the needy,clothing those who needs to be clothe,feed those who needs to be fed.There are so many other ways of channeling our energy .Why then channel it to sin?It wont benefit you one bit!If u dont know the meaning of benefit, benefit simply means getting something more in return.What do u get in return for sinning?The only thing u get out of sinning is satisfaction that maybe last for the next 10 seconds or so and after that you feel guilty for the rest of the time.Isnt it so?It has no benefit, in business terms,its a loss!Think about it.

And if u do good to someone,chances is that the guy u helped will help u back or if not help someone else who needs to be helped.If u can analyse these two situations,u decide which is more profitable.

James 2:26 says
26As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

We all know faith without works is dead.But thats a common phrase people use to ask u to do something for God,but there is something more than that to it.LEt me explain.You are only called a christian when you have faith.And if we dont do any deeds/works,our faith is other words,no faith.So this actually means that if we have no deeds,we dont have faith,and we dont have faith, we are not christians!Faith without works is dead!If u call yourself a christian,ask yourself what deeds have u done.And also what deed do u intend to do.

Realise how important it is to do something for God and not juz sit down on ur couch trying not to sin.Do you know it is a sin itself not doing the things we ought to do?You may think thats a little over the top now. hey before you say anything more,it would be wiser to check JAmes 4:17.It says "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins".Hows that!

Darkness is not the opposite of light but just the absence of it.The same as evil is not the opposite of God,but just the absence of God.Realising this, you should Fill your life with God and leave no room for evil.After all,evil is the absence of God!

If all you are concern about in life is trying not to sin, or even the other extreme of sinning and keep asking for forgiveness,hey its about time you realise that although God may forgive you, at the end of the day he is going to justify you on what u have done and not on your faith alone.Here is something for desert,

James 2:24
You see that a person is justified by what he does and not by faith alone.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Argument between student and professeor

This is one of my alltime favourite conversations......

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the
problem science has with God, The

He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof: So you believe in God?
Student: Absolutely, sir.

Prof: Is God good?
Student: Sure.

Prof: Is God all-powerful?
Student: Yes.

Prof: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to
heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God
didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?
Student: (Student is silent.)

Prof: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella.
God good?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Is Satan good?
Student: No.
Prof: Where does Satan come from?
Prof: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student: Yes.
Prof: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
Student: Yes.
Prof: So who created evil?
Student: (Student does not answer.)
Prof: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student: Yes, sir.
Prof: So, who created them?
Student: (Student has no answer.)

Prof: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and
observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen
Student: No, sir.

Prof: Tell us if you have ever heard your
Student: No , sir.

Prof: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your
Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student: Yes.

Prof: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol,
science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that,
Student: Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof: Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student: Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Prof: Yes.

Student: And is there such a thing as cold?
Prof: Yes.

Student: No sir. There isn't.
lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat,
mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't
anything called cold.
We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't
any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold. Cold is
only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.

We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite
heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing
Prof: Yes. What is night if there isn't

Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of

You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing
it's called darkness, isn't it?

In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to
darkness darker, wouldn't you?
Prof: So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student: Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Prof: Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student: Sir,
you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is
and then there is death, a good God and a bad God.

You are viewing the concept of God as
something finite, something
we can

Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity
magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either
To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the
that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now
me, Professor.

Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
yes, of course, I do.

Student: Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes,
Prof: (The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to

where the
argument is going.)

Student: Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution
work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going
endeavour, are you not teaching your opinion, sir?

Are you not a scientist but a
Prof: (The class is in uproar.)
Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the
Professor's brain?
Prof: (The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's
brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?.....No one appears to have
done so.

So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable,
science says that you have no brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures,
Prof: (The room is silent. The professor stares at the student,
face unfathomable.)
Prof: I
guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir.. The link between man & God is FAITH.
is all that keeps things moving & alive

Sunday, July 16, 2006

God knowin the future?

Lets stimulate some thoughts here.Think about what i am going to ask.We all say that God knows the future.So why did God create Lucifer if He knew he was going to be the devil anyway?If He knew eve was going to sin,WHY did he create that tree of knowledge of good and evil?if He knows the future, HE should even know if we were destined to go to heaven or hell even before he created us .Am i right? why should we bother going to church at all?If God knows the future,aren't we mere robots who are following a script that had been written before time?People say that man have a choice.but if God knows the future, HE should know what choices we are going to make and therefore it is not a choice after all. isnt it?

Got your attention didn't i?But now i am here to question you.who told you God knew every detail of the future in the first place?was it ever written in the bible?or was it something people passed on for generations without even thinking it through and just accepted it blindly like any other Christians would.Just like weeds swaying with the direction of the wind.

People like to quote this scripture "God knew you when u were knitted in your mothers womb".Its something David said.Well i would what?it doesn't prove that God knows the just shows that God knew you 1st before anyone else.Its obvious!God is the one who chose to breathe life into you,of course He knew you 1st. he simply decides if you were to be born or not!simple as that.

Now to explain and clarify every the situation here.We all have choices!People say God can never be surprised.who said so? Matthew 8:10 and Luke 7:9 says that Jesus was astonished,amazed.So now it gets more complicated.

So does God have plans for the future?Yes he does! He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you.But it is our choice to follow his will.When Jesus taught the disciples how to pray,one section said "let your will be done".When Jesus was praying before his crucifiction, he said "not my will but YOURS be done".He CHOSE to be in God's will.

So how does all of this make sense?I will explain in an analogy...

This pastor plans to have a huge concert.But the members are encouraged to help out.Whether it is arranging the chair or handing out fliers,each were given a certain responsibility.One member decides not to participate.The pastor then contacts him and persuaded him to be part of it.In the end that non-participating member is the one losing out.Now it is his choice if he wants to be part of it.But note this,whether he participates or not,the concert will still go on!The pastor most probably would have found someone else to do that job.

The same goes with God.He has plans,purposes and his will, all laid down .he has plans for our future.He gave us talents,abilities and gifts to perform our job here on earth.Now it is our choice to decide if we want to be part of it,if we want to walk in HIS will.We may sometimes go astray,but because he loves us,he uses people around us to bring us back on track,back to God,back to his purposes.But if we decide not to follow his will,we are the ones who lose out.Remember this,His purposes and plans will still come to past!.He made plans to establish His kingdom on earth and He will accomplish it regardless of your participation!God is capable of raising someone else to do his will.Just like what Mordecai had told Esther.He told her that for such a time as this, if she doesn't do it,God will then raise someone else to accomplish it.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


well a fine day i had, mens ministry was FUN-NY! hahah ive never been to a man's ministry meeting yea i was laughing all the way through out the 1st song...with jonah...ahahhaha
why we were laughing? well like i said 1st of all i havent been to a men's ministry meeting,so when they started singing....all of them were singing in low key...and it was juz funny to be there at that time.haha all the manly voices wonder we diddnt need a basist...juz needed a guitarist...ahhahah the message was good and practical.i love messages that i never heard before.cant blame me...i was born to be a pastor's son.and i was attending church every sunday since the day i came out of my mother's womb untill now...never skipped a service in my entire life.haha amazing huh.i bet no one can ever break that so after that we had a fun time of soccer....people got heated at some points but i was my usual self,playin the game for fun..scoring silly goals...hahah

so what insight do i have today?we all know what temptations are....but do we know the right way to overcome it?we may have our own ways of overcoming it but what is the right way?1st of all what i wanna share is humans especially man have pride.thats nothing new...but then do you know that whatever temptations that comes to ur mind is actually the same as everyone around you?it is stated clearly in 1 corinthians it up if it looks like im makin it up.The devil then tries one of his most famous trick.deceive!1st he tells u that ur temtation in ur mind is a secret and no one shld noe about it.then u tell no one about it .in result...ur not accountable to anyone.but the truth is...the people around u are tempted by the same thing!unless and untill u realise this,u can never grow further in christ.

there are many sermons on temptations,we all know we grow stronger and all after im not gonna repeat gonna add new thoughts,create a new mindset.The devil knows the power of how he tempted eve,he suggested the idea of eating the im gonna show u how powerfull a suggestion is.have u ever found urself in a situation when someone suggested about this delicious food and u suddenly felt hungry?or have u seen a person yawn and u too felt like yawning?or someone goes to toilet and u feel like u had to go too... NOW do u realise how powerfull a suggestion is?its the start of the downfall for mankind anyway.

So now...what do u do when a devil suddenly suggest something in ur mind?u cant stop the devil from continuing his job.all u need to do is snap out of it!know that whatever ur going thru,God knows u can handle it,thats why he allows it to happen! ANd also note that doesnt mean u overcome it once or twice,it wont come back again.take my will come back one day,again and again untill the die u are perfect.which is when u meet the maker.

One of the ways to overcome temptation is by refocussing ur thoughts on something else. say suddenly u had this thought of lustfullness.refocus it like looking around and say u see a tree...then start thinkin how the tree is formed or bla bla bla....before u noe it,uve forgotten what the devil suggested earlier.Some people try to focus on their tempation and start praying about it and so on.this is unaffective cuz u r still paying attention towards ur temptation,towards ur thoughts.why do i use the name "devil" alot rather than temptation? good you know that no where in the bible is stated "resist temptation"...surprised? BUT what the bible did say is resist the see u cant stop a bird from flying over ur head,but u can stop it from building a nest on ur head. the same way goes with temptation!

and if it consoles u any better, I am going thru the same temptation as u.and if i can overcome it,why cant u?

Friday, July 14, 2006

My life's story

This post is in case of case i go thru some disease and forgot who i am...i will refer to this....hahahah

0-3 years old
i remember nothing at this stage of life.hmm let me think...oh ya! bryan came to this world at when i was 3. i remember my favourite cartoon was captain planet and transformers.I would play with "H" toys and lego.i was building things.of course things that 3 yr olds build.I build guns and more guns.haha i played toy cars too...usual stuff for boys.and i din realise this untill when i got older....i ate shit!...hahah no im not swearing, but literally i ate my own the taste of it tho...hahahah

4-6 years
hmmm....this was kindergarten age..i went to little buds.i would always everyday for all 3 years.hahah the boy who cried the most.let me see if i remember teacher's names....Mrs leong was the principal...good ol lady, mrs Ho....she had a mole and was the fiercest 1 in school,miss adeline..the lady who opens the gate for us! my memory bank.I was mischievous at this age,and full of energy.every sports day i will be the one winning attitude....hmm no different from today tho...hahaha I remember dancing BALLROOM! thats it! ballroom ...ahhah i was a prince and i danced with a princess..hahah concerts were what our kindergarten was famous for btw.I remember being disciplined at this age by my dad.him with the cane was playin zorro on my thats why im the toughest amongst my siblings.cuz they din receive what i did.cant blame new parents.

7-10 years
like any other maysian parent will do...push u to study.stress u out and get the results.hahahha i remember my 1st word that i learned was API! haha i met new frends on the 1st day of skool. yes, i did shit in my own pants before...ahhaha i was always in the 1st class since they started streaming us and seperating us according to our results.i did high jump and came out 4th....erm...did a few other sports and got 2 or 3 medals out of it.Never occured to me that it was a gift juz to be able to produce results and be sporty at the same time.I was still a child.

11-12 years
people started bullying me and once and for all it got to my nerve.i started fighting back.Then as time goes by ..instead of defending myself,i started bullying others too.i even bully the bullies.we often had fights and was an all boys school.i remember my pants being pulled down in front of a chinese school assembly.i ran after that guy(i was one of the fastest sprinter) and caught him and ripped his he had the rest of the day without a shirt...this was the time i became bad.I would always win arm wrestlings so i knew no one in the school was stronger than me,therefore everyone was afraid of me.we had fights almost everyday be it class vs class or even in our very own class.sometimes blood was involve.We also had to show others how tough we are by jumping off a 1 storey building.and i did it.not once but a couple of times.
I started becoming famous in school for the wrong reasons.everyone knew me.I was one of the school's hockey team too.I played chess for school and got no.9 in zone level.i was in the choral speaking team which got 3rd in zone level.I played soccer and represented my class to get 2nd in school.I was good with my colouring that i got overall champion in my school.I then represented school but diddnt go on to win anymore.I diddnt study much but ended up with 4A's 1B for UPSR.

13 years
i changed from what i was the year before.i made it clear to myself i will turn over a new leaf.I was a probationary prefect who did his work well.studies diddnt matter cuz i had no major exam till form im 15 yrs old.i got to learn what love is and got myself entangled which my dad had to come to speak to me .It was a new life again.i got myself involve with children's ministry.went to pahang to dance.followed my dad around msia when he preach.i received the most exposure which is what makes me think differently.

14 years
i made new to know alot of people,including people from other schools.imy range of friends grew wider.I was now Had of organisation for the prefect board.we had to wear songkok for duties.i was getting tired of my job.too much politics at this age.I never knew what politics were untill i got myself into this prefect board.we used to do push ups on our knuckles on tar to show our toughness and seriousness.

15 years
i got my 1st aid certificate this year.and i had a major exam ahead.This year was a turning point for my chess skills as i beat the president at this was a big achievement for me and i got myself knowing more people.People older than me...16,17,18 and 19 yrs will want to have a match with me.i won all of them.i started training people,mainly those ive chosen to be my team.we go for competitions around jb.for exposure purposes.we diddnt win any tournaments but we got exposure. then the major exam came.its a long story but to cut it short, i got straight A's .

16 years
by now my range of friends was fairly wide.i needed 2 msn accounts to hold all of them as one of it was already full.for chess,i continued and persue on representing school.this year i received a trophy, for winning all the chess profile was booming.then a few of us start collecting all the top soccer players in our year level and began to make a team.we won all the tournaments we went in.we even beat those 19 yearolds. we were the team to beat in every tournament.i was also full on into st.john marching.we trained every week.doing 100 push ups , running 4km and 100 sit ups. this is excluding the punishments we receive.we joined the camping which we won 1st in every category.this was the peak of my life. everything i was in,i tried to be the best in it. i started playing basketball at the end of the year..and the next year i was in the school team.note that i never played baketball for the past 16 yreas at all.

17 years
Now the major exam was studies was just above average.I was now president of chess club,school basketball team,lens corparal for st.john ambulans and not forgetting i was still in the elite soccer team.our team dispersed at one point and juniors came asking me to be on their team,they each offered different things to join their team but i took the offer which said i diddnt have to pay anything.hahahah we got into semis but thats about it. we later regrouped our original team and continued winning for chess, it was a totally new level of playing,i found myself playing in the same competition as the malaysian no.1 and no.6.....and also people from overseas coming into this competiotion including a grandmaster.There are 4 boards in a team.
best board 1= malaysian no.1
best board 2=grandmaster
bestboard 3= former malaysian champion
besboard 4= Sean sim
haha i felt embarass receiving the trophy as i was the one without any profile.
as for studies, 1st semester i got no.2 and 2nd semester i was no.3 i was having 10 subjects to cope up with and so the final exam came without me being prepared at all.i was too busy with my sports life.i did my exam and the results were bad 4A1 2A2 2B3 2B4 in other words, 6A 4B

18 years
well here i am with a brand new life,taking my faith to another we'll wait and see how this year goes by.....

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Ive been in australia for quite some time now....and i realize how different it is from Malaysia. One obvious culture shock is the maturity of the people here especially in church.Even at the age of 13-15, they are at leadership post and are confident in leading people older than them.They do so much at such young age,even worshipping on stage on sunday morning service.What a culture shock. In comparison to MAlaysia,we sort of leave the leadership to the people above 21's...altho it is not a law, but somehow we juz end up that way.Even to worship lead on sunday service in msia was so hard juz to get a 20ish guy/girl to song lead. Everyone thinks they are inadequate,but untill we realise that, then only will we know that God is in control.If u think u can worship lead cuz u r capable of doing it,u r doing it by ur own strength.It is through our weakness, God shows forth his strength.

I also can recall what we in msia do at the age of 13-15.It was the season when every one was asking "what is love?".it sounds soooo profound but the answer is in 1 John 3:16.hahah easy peasy.and at that age we msians go round "i think he /she likes me" kinda thing. hahaha It is just such a big contrast to the culture in australia.maybe its the food they eat..ahhahah

You know something i juz wanna share is about swearing.IT must be a shock to u if i said i never sweared before.impossible?nah.....i thank my parents for bringing me up that way.Some things that diddnt make sense when i was young,rules i never understood how it will help me in the past,but now when ive grown up i still don see the logicness behind it,but what i do see is what i am today.I thank God for godly can only think of two verses, Matt 5:37 and James 5:12.It both basically says the same thing, If u swear, u will be condemned! let your "yes" be "yes" and let ur "no" be "no".What does it mean? well if u were to tell the truth the whole time,what need is there to swear?And if u have made promises with God in the past, fulfill it! let ur "yes" be "yes" and let ur "no" be "no".And do you know that if u say "you fool!" u will be in danger of hell too?am i making this up? check Matt 5:21.God says that u cant judge people,cuz they do not belong to u,they belong to the creator, juzt as u are.Anyone who is angry with his brother would be subject to judgement(Matt 5:22). Then u may say oh,this is our culture......bla bla bla.......and then here comes Sean with ROmans 12:2 which says in NLT version "Dont become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking.Instead fix your attention on God.You'll be changed from the inside out...Unlike the culture around you,always dragging you down to its level of immaturity,God brings the best out of you,develops well-formed maturity in you".

So many a times we pick scriptures that we like in the bible, but its time to read and understand the bible as it is and not compromise any part of it.Its about time we stood for what is right.Its about time!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

School School School

Well school has been part of our everyday human lifes....or is it?Well before we talk about the whole idea of school.Let me bring u to my world...a world of how my school was and is.take for example today....i get up at 6.30....wash up and all and head for school at 7.30.yeah i live a long way from school.i take it as a blessing...rather than waking up 5am in malaysia...haha... so yea...arrive at school with the hairstyle i woke up with...sometimes i look cool,sometimes "gangster", sometimes i juz look gay...ahhaha hairdo while in bed is random anyway.hahaha

So then school starts ...2 periods...recess....2 periods lunch...and 2 periods.....go home.then i will be like "'s over?". Time flies ya know.....especially when its so relax and all....In malaysia ,it took forever for school to end. Well maybe its because of the u do work in a cooling environment.So then....the question school important?

NO!school should never be ur priority in life.School is after all a system that people go through to become for succesfull in the world.I believe that anything at all that is put in priority rather than God is an idol itself.For example money....u put it before God in ur priority list and God says "choose you this day whom will u serve for no man can serve two masters".You see....ur commitment in life can either build u or destroy u,but most of all it defines you. So why school?

Be it college or university,u are still in a "school" cuz u r learning something to be "someone" in this world.We are therefore called to be in schools for a purpose,not to be of this world, but to share the gospel, that the kingdom of heaven/God is near.IF it doesnt mmake any sense, let me explain.God doesnt need you to go to school to be educated, He chose fishermans to be his disciples and ended up having profound greek to write books/letters to what has been compiled in the new take this, You dont need school! BUT u were placed there for a purpose,not a coincidence, but for a purpose.A purpose that had been blue printed while u were knitted in ur mothers womb(psalms). You are to be witnesses to all mankind.

So does this mean we shldnt study hard?NO! not at all. we should in fact put effort in it.God has told us to put every effort and love into everything that we do(Collosians 3:23).God is not interested on how hardworking u are at church or how holy u are in church,it is ur everyday life that he is interested in.the minor things that u do.psalm 37:23(NLT) says "The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.He delights in every detail of their lives."So with every responsibilty that ur given, do it with all ur heart,for if u r faithful with the few things,God will give u more.

I hope this post is of great help,to realise our purpose and not forget it.Life is temporary, so make the full use out of it!

Monday, July 10, 2006

SOccer final

1st of all the final sux.haha why?cuz everyone hates italy lol.1st they put out the socceroos with a cheap penalty,put out the germans with 2 mins more to go, and now won the final by a penalty shoot out?k k ...enuf critiscm...hahah imagine what would happen if aussie had beaten italy.haha
so yea this was the final.but 1st i might as well explain the day that led to me foolishly stayin up.hahah

i woke up at 8.30,got myself rdy and went to church.Service was awesome as the church was packed pack!hahaha new commers comin in each week....hey evidences of God's provision over our church.ive developed this habit of acknowledging God in every single thing.if i remember correctly,it should be is hosea 6:6,where it says "for i desire mercy,not sacrifice.and
acknowledgement of God rather than burnt offerings."

so anyway service was awesome and the preacher was crazily good.Got so much out of it that my lil brain might not hold it all at once.hahah. then after that i went to have my lunch in church and man!was the lunch great! ahah i mean ,not as an insult but u noe what i mean by church lunches dont ya.but this time it was tasty and yummy and....and...hahah if u know more words..let me know..i have limited vocabulary.hahha after that i went up to MCd and talked random stuff....including what i said about aileen.haha but it was a joke anyways...really it was!

hmm then we left mcd...went for dance practice....danced till about 4ish 5ish i guess... then went up again juz to get red down again and had 2nd service . Well this service was great too.....everything went well and oh ya,the mens ministry thingy.i hope they post it on youtube...hahah so cool!ok after evening service...i drove home and got back about 9 something to 10. Had my dinner, watched 2 CSI shows and did my devotion. One thing i would stress on devotion is this. YOu cant love someone without knowin that person.Agree? Well how then can u love GOd without knowing him?How can u know him if u dun read his Word? It is only through the bible, we get to know what God is like, his characteristics,his promisses,all this cannot be accepted in our hearts by just what other people say. We need the bible,read it,and know Him.Know Him, and love Him.

so i did my devotion,and i learn something new each day,if i dont get anything out of it, i will read more ,till i get something out of my devotion dont really have a time of how long it should take,it just flows naturally.

ok,after devotion,it was 12am,i got into my dad's car and went to nikki and ali's hse.there, aunty mary was watching tennis.We all joined her hahah so we watched the final ,eventually federer beat nadal.Federer is just too strong.On clay then its a different story for nadal huh.So then tennis finished, aunty mary went to bed and nikki woke up and came in.i thought of havin some nap but juz couldnt sleep.ahahha then soccer started.the 1st goal scored.......then ali came in..."is there a goal already......arrrgghh" then still squinting her eyes " i cant see...its too bright" lol....

entering the 2nd half of the match i fell asleep...i woke up at 6.30...juz in time for penalty shoot out. and trezeguet missed....arrgghh..of all ppl.... after that we all got ready for skool.and since aunty Mary is workin in my skool....its convinient.hahah
on the way to skool....well, what can i say....the Dj was a pervert and thats my conclusion.dont ask me what it was all about.

so there i have an hour of sleep and going to school.....1st thing i did was find out which teacher is MIA. and the last period teacher wasnt skool finish earlier for overall i tried keeping myself awake ..slept about 2 mins in history...wasnt that bad...and slept 30 mins durin lunch hour.hahahah thats becuz the ball we were juggling got confiscated. i pulled through the day and gave up on the way back from skool....i juz konked off...KO u would advice to soccer freaks, sleep before u watch the match!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

A dream

I woke up with a dream...a dream i cant comprehend. i still remember receiving that sms in my phone and picking up the phone with my bare hands.i could feel the phone.No, it cant be a dream!i remember the words in the sms so vividly.What could it be? it seemed so real.....I remembered that i teared as i read that message.....

Then i woke up, spread my arms wide apart.I could feel a sudden rush of energy flowing from my arms,to every part of my body.I quickly rushed for my phone.Menu,messages,inbox......what!? where was that message?NO!was it juz a dream?was it?

Could it be a message...that was sent by God in a dream?could it be?What about the sender in my dream?what relation has he/she got to do with it?It doesnt make sense.Nothing does.From the moment i woke up..till the very dilemma i was in.I made a vow,a pledge,a promise that i would somehow record down every dream and vision i receive or remember,weather it makes sense or not,it will go down in my notebook.By this only will one realise how God deals with each one of us individually.

I am still growing.A growth of maturity,a journey i had always been going thru.This is the journey ,the part where i reconcile with God.God, u were there talking to me each and every single day,the times u let me experience ur presence at midnight while i was eating maggi.God u were so close with me, then u left me alone.FOr a moment i thought i did something wrong. I went searching for faults within me.But God, u were just testing me.And now u have returned, returned to thy temple.For my body is ur temple,the temple of the holy spirit. Now im growing so rapidly.Enjoying,basking in ur presence.Enjoying every moment of it.....

And could this sms in the dream be a prophecy?could this prophercy be for someone else rather than the person who send it in my dream?Everything is blur....foggy, one knows what is ahead....but the light, the light that is glowing in front shall be my guide.For everything around me becomes shadows but ur light shall be my guide.For i may not understand, things that my small brain can rationalize.But God, you know what is best, and i cant wait to see the prophcies u told me come to past.....

Continue to teach me God,......teach me.....teach me............teach me.......teach me..........

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Anthem camp

Man Anthem camp was awesome wasnt it.Its been some time since i really felt God's anointing in youth camps...the last time i remember experiencing it was in Awana,Genting.But lets not go there, this camp was great and with all the prayers that build up towards it, with the expectation for something to You could almost feel on the last night that people were juz sayin to themselves,"come on, this isnt suppose to be an ordinary camp...." you could almost feel the expectation from everyone..!untill BOOM! it came on the last night! how amazing was that experience. You could feel tired yet u feel energised. I guess it was like what the scripture says when we are weak,he is our! so here is my report on the my view of

1st day
i reached the camp.arriving from OCF camp.was camp yea,i arrived and when i stepped in the hall, all of a sudden (i think matt pastor) started it, they all were chanting "SIM SIM SIM" hahah...felt kinda wierd,but hey i was quickly ushered to my group was given the dorm keys. cuz i was the dorm leader.haha then here comes suz holding out a scroll and telling me my responsibilities. "You shall lead quiet time.You shall be responsible for the keys You shall......." hahahh...i nodding my head the whole time.i bet if u saw me from afar,u would think i was on yea we got to our groups and worked on our cheers...which did nt turn out as expected.haahjonah and his famous CLAP!ahha we had fun anyways. if not for the cheers, we had fun seeing Aileen running away from the spider(spider was like miles away) after that we went out and had some fun outdoors....6 tennis courts. but i decided to play basketball with 6 of them(wats wif the number 6 anyway?). hmm so yea we played till CJ hurt his leg....he hurt it after jumping?lol. dunno how that works but oh wells.... we got inside. i loitered around and then got to my "dorm" ...i took out my bible and started preparing for the quiet time that night.listing down verses assosiated with it.Good ol memory bank i have.then Jonah came in and we discussed it together. After that we went for dinner and had our 1st session.HAd supper and then we did our quiet time in our rooms.It was great being given the priveledge to impart knowledge that ive stored for God knows how long.hahah .....then we played Big TWo. which i still hold the record of winnning 10 games in a row.hahah okok...we played cuz we were waiting for the Australia vs Italy match. which we found out was very dissapointing.could feel the gloom in the room that day.last second penalty?and a cheap one too...hahah yea that was the 1st day.

2nd day
We were supposed to prepare breakfast that day. I went to the kitchen and realise me and CJ were the only ones there.and we slept the latest! hahah so we decided to join in the prayer.THere we juz had a time of basking in his presence.enjoing it in the morning....mmmhh. Then we had games later on. haha and to be honest,i just learned sodoku this year at suz's house.ahah and boy did it come in handy durin the games.because of it we had 10 points lead and approximately 5 minutes lead.hahahgames was fun...well done games team.the last job was kinda easy.swallowing down a raw egg..haha yea so we won the game. and everyone played their part in winning it.That night we planned on what to do the next day for our concert..otherwise known as talentime. Me and CJ stayed up and took 10 minutes to write out the script.We later told the group we stayed up and thought about it for hours.hhahahha
This night we had quiet time,and it was a good one. Edward was full of questions about the bible and man was i ready for it.ahha it diddnt just stop there, in bed, he was sleeping in the same room as me,so he continued questioning this and that, i dare say God's wisdom was with me.becuz i know some of it i couldnt have answered with my own wisdom.We ended the night peacefully at 5am(had to wake up at 7 the next day), but i could sense that i left him there pondering on the things i said and he was ready to change his mindset and views on certain things.

3rd day
I got up without having sufficient amount of sleep but guess what,i wasnt tired at all.It can only be God's strength that pull me thru the wholeday,in fact i diddnt sleep untill 23 hours later at could a 2 hour nap hold me up so long?It was here i am ...going for breakfast, practicing the drama with the team.and then it got to the real thing. Our performance! and boy did we pull it off! everyone had fun watching it.could see all of them on the floor laughing.glad that everything went well. and then came the night, where people juz came out for the alter call.not for the message, not for people to see,not for the preacher but just wanting to experience GOD! like i said earlier, there was so much expectation in each and every one of us. We all had been praying for this moment to come and we juz went out in faith. And BOY! did God move! suddenly prophecies were juz flowing out.People just started bursting into tears.....Rob's vision had just come to past! an ovary was being healed right before our eyes.we could see it moving.then new believers juz started speaking in tongues!young people started praying for one one was left out! The anointing was just so so so strong! you could juz feel it!all i can say is God was there.and He had thought me alot, which i will probably share in another post. That night we all had the priveledge of staying up. played games and all.we had the preaching game which we all had fun laughing at darius and matt.hey ...what can i say that was one kind of a night we had!

DAy 4
We had our last session and had luch and we all worked together to pack up and clean up every mess we made.we got on the bus and we had...PREACHING GAME again.okok the game goes like this.they give u a verse and u got to preach it! and no, its not as easy as it sounds! haha i pulled off my one tho.

Over all, this camp was awesomely awesome and i hope the fire that was started will be harnessed and not burn out.Heaven and earth may pass away but God's word will still remain.God is afterall......God.